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Stuttering Shell: MOMMY JUICE

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


In certain circles, some say that I'm an alcoholic. In other circles, I'm a casual drinker...ya know, every now and again. And, in a few select circles, I'm that girl who gets out from time to time (with or without the hubs) and has no problems bellying up to the bar having a few drinks.

I am in no way, shape or form an alcoholic. And, don't go giving me that "I'm denying my so-called alcoholic status because denial is the first sign of addiction" crap. You can keep the bullshit to yourselves. I have had four beers in the last three weeks, well, since we left Mexico on February 27th! Yeah, that really makes me an alcoholic, eh?

Fact of the matter is, I'm a mother who likes to induldge from time to time in adult beverages. I pick and choose when and where I am going to imbibe. I decide how sloshed I want to become -- and, for the record, I've never blacked out or done any dumb shit while "under the influence" unless you count drunk (or, as I like to say, DUNK) texting and then I'm definitely guilty of that. Also, most of my buzzed shenanigans occur within the four walls of my humble abode. So there.

I'm a smart gal who knows her limits. I good at picking my poison, too. Some days I just want an ice cold beer while other days I would prefer some Canadian Club & ginger ale. Mmm...Canadian whiskey. Most of the time I settle for wine. Ah, wine. Good ole MOMMY JUICE. You can never go wrong with a glass (or four bottles) of wine. Red is my favorite color, but I'm not so much into red wines. Gimme a good Chardonnay, a crisp Riesling or a yummy Pinot Grigio ( tasty!) any day and I'll be your friend for life.

I currently have three opened bottles of wine in my fridge, three bottles in the rack and two bottles stashed at a friends house (ha!). Adam tried to dump my stash over the weekend. What the heck is wrong with you? Those are perfectly fine! I mean, so what if there are two bottles of Moscato wine in the fridge -- they're by different brands and taste totally different. And, don't go messin' with my $12 bottle of Duplin blackberry wine from Wal-Mart, OK? (Yes, $12 blackberry wine and, yes, it's from Wal-Mart...hey...don't be hatin'...haven't you tried their $2.95 wine? I have.)

So, where am I going with all of this? No, I'm not drinking while I'm writing this either. Oh, yeah...I'm a mom. And, I'm a mom who likes to drink...not in excess, but in moderation. Don't hate me because I have a "Floozie" for my beer. Don't hate me because sometimes I drink a bottle of wine all to myself. Don't hate me because, gasp, there is beer, wine and liquor in my house.

I'm a mom. A busy mom. And, like most other busy moms, I enjoy some time to myself...time to unwind. And, if my "unwind time" involves a glass or three of a fine tasting adult beverage then so be it. *CHEERS*

So, after typing this, hitting "publish post" and then re-reading the blog entry, I guess it really does sorta kinda make me seem like an alcoholic. LOL But, I swear. I'm not. Far from it. Caffeine addict, yes, but hooked on alcohol, no. No one at home, including myself, has been harmed in any way because mommy likes to drink every now and again so don't go calling C.P.S. on me.

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Blogger Brandi said...


Mar 18, 2009, 10:56:00 PM  
Blogger becca greene said...

what a flattering pic;)

Mar 19, 2009, 5:35:00 AM  
Blogger The Delima Dilemma... said...

Sorry....I think I must be drunk right now. I think I might have posted my comment twice. LOLOL

Mar 19, 2009, 8:39:00 AM  
Blogger Lis said...

There is nothing wrong with relaxing with a drink! There are days when I wish I had some in the fridge!

Mar 19, 2009, 8:43:00 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I would never call you an alcoholic. However I have learned, KEEP THE PHONE AWAY FROM YOU when you have a bottle of wine! LOL!

Mar 19, 2009, 8:48:00 AM  
Blogger Shell said...

Catrina...I must be the drunk one because I totally deleted your first comment (the one you posted twice) by accident! Doh! LOL

But, yes, my two bottles are stashed at your house for our next get-together...we'll drink those two plus two more! LOL

Mar 19, 2009, 10:00:00 AM  
Blogger E said...

Cheers to you! Mommy Juice is a very important part of the MomDiet!!

Mar 20, 2009, 4:10:00 PM  

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