funemployment.

it's been a few days since that fateful moment when i walked away from my job. i loved what i did. i loved working with my husband. working for family - not so much. it stinks that i am no longer earning a paycheck. our finances have taken a beating. but, i don't miss going into work at all. is that bad? considering the situation, probably not.

anyways, you would think that my life would be carefree now - leisurely days noshing on chocolate candies while watching daytime t.v.

wrong.

i mean, don't misunderstand me. i'm enjoying the {kid} free time. it's something that - during a previous stint as a stay at home mom - i was never able to indulge in. i like being home alone during the day. the house is quiet. oh, so quiet.

but,

it still strikes me as odd. you know, being home while most everyone else is working. part of me feels {almost} guilty for being home -- even if it was by my own choosing. but, alas, even that inkling of guilt fades away quickly because i may as well take advantage of these precious days. hopefully, they will be few. but, you just never know.

for the time being, i've managed to avoid looking over our budget out of fear of hyperventilating. instead, i've chosen to focus on things that i now have all the time in the world for. you know, the laundry, grocery shopping, house cleaning...all of the stuff that would either happen after coming home from work in the evenings or on the weekends {which was what usually happened}. i now have time to finally paint the damn bathroom after talking about it for months. i have time to sit and make crafts for hours on end without interruption. maybe now i'll actually take the sewing machine out of the box.

i'm cooking, too. that's quite a shocker. me. the girl who does not like to cook. yep, i'm cooking. i even baked today.

i amaze myself.

granted, i would much rather picture myself as a "got it all together" housewife with a very disposable income. unfortunately, i'm the extreme opposite. my house still isn't spotless. the laundry still isn't caught up. our income? absolutely, positively NOT disposable.

but,

i'm coming to terms with this unemployment thing. this FUNemployment thing. i sorta like how my role has been reversed. i like not feeling so stressed. i like that i haven't yelled in two days. i like that i'm no longer freaking out about how the pillows on the couch aren't "just so" or that there are dishes piled in the sink from breakfast.

this isn't quite where i pictured myself at 32, but - then again - maybe it is.