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Stuttering Shell: reflection & relief.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

reflection & relief.

it's the first of the month. a new month. last month has come & gone. soon, this year will have come & gone.

today marks a new beginning for me. i have left behind a bad situation & am looking forward to moving on. unfortunately, that bad situation was my job. but, i'm considering it a blessing in disguise. i left on my own accord, on my own terms & in my own {fabulously ridiculous} way.

i'll avoid going into detail about why it happened or what went wrong or who was to blame or at fault. that's trivial information because {for those of you 'in real life' folks who read my blog solely for vindictive purposes} it's honestly something that needed to happen. the truth shall prevail & if you want it, come ask me for it.

i'll admit it, i'm scared. i'm fearful for my future...for my family's future. but, i'm a true believer that things happen for a reason. i'm going to take this negative & turn it into a positive. i feel that i went through what i went through because God has something more special & more meaningful in store for me. what it is or when it will happen...i don't know. but, in the meantime, i'll see this time off as a way to spend more time with my kids, my family & myself.

i've done a lot of crying today. a lot. i've washed my face & reapplied my makeup twice already. sometimes it's tears of anger. sometimes it's tears of confusion. sometimes it's tears of...joy. my husband told me not to be sorry. to never be sorry. things are going to be okay, he said. i'm so lucky i married someone so positive. i'm trying, i really am.

and, while i may be uncertain about the future, i do feel a sense of relief within my soul. i think my heart is beating stronger. i think i am breathing easier. tonight, when i lay my head on my pillow, i know that i will sleep soundly & deeply.

tomorrow is a new day.

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10 Comments:

Blogger Classy Fab Sarah said...

WOw, GO YOU!

I can't imagine how scary it must be to have left that situation and to be starting fresh... but you can do it! I believe in you!!

Prayers that everything will work out for the best...

Dec 1, 2009, 8:34:00 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Potts said...

I'm happy for you that your husband is so supportive. That means so much & will help make this a bit easier!

Dec 1, 2009, 8:41:00 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Good for you! If it was a bad situation, then leave it in the past! Thank goodness you have such a supportive husband! God has a plan through all of this!

Dec 1, 2009, 8:45:00 PM  
Blogger Brittany Ann said...

I'm so proud of you for leaving. I know how scary that can be, even when it's the right thing. We're with you and praying for you!

Dec 1, 2009, 8:55:00 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

yahh more time with your kids!! Things will all fall in place.

Dec 1, 2009, 9:52:00 PM  
Blogger Chelle said...

Honey, it sounds like you did absolutely the BEST thing for yourself. And your family.

I'm proud of you--I know that it wasn't easy for you. Your husband sounds SO supportive--that's awesome, chica!!

Thinking of you and saying a little prayer for you. I know that God will make happen what is supposed to happen. {{hugs}} and <3

Dec 2, 2009, 12:26:00 AM  
Blogger J-Ko From The Block said...

i'm right there with you michelle. New beginnings are good... hard but good. Breath deep sister! xo

Dec 2, 2009, 12:42:00 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Good for you. That is SO hard to do, but when you know if in your heart that your whole life is suffering from an unpleasant situation, you do what YOU have to do.

I'll be saying a prayer for you...good things will come!

Dec 2, 2009, 6:28:00 AM  
Blogger Teresha@Marlie and Me said...

I had a similar situation at a job that was truly horrible. It felt like how experts describe abusive relationships...a beat down followed by promises by supervisors that things would change (yeah right!). One day I said enough is enough and got out. It was scary to leave before I had gotten another job, but it was the best decision I ever made.
You will also prevail for standing up for yourself! Good luck with everything!

I was referred to your blog by Shannon at Welcome to the Nut House. She tagged you to be my guest on my blog show next week:
http://marlieandmommy.blogspot.com/2009/11/thursdays-with-teresha-welcome-to-nut.html

I am posting the questions for your appearance tomorrow. Please let me know if you plan to participate. Thanks!

Dec 2, 2009, 6:35:00 AM  
Blogger Jules said...

Michelle – you are definitely in my thoughts. I hope the upcoming holiday season brings you peace and happiness. I think it’s wonderful that you have such a supportive husband. I know its cliché, but God only gives us what we can handle. Believe in that and the rest will work itself out…xoxo

Dec 2, 2009, 9:30:00 PM  

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