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Stuttering Shell: thankful for the l, p & h.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

thankful for the l, p & h.

Lies, paranoia & hypocrisy.

Today is that last day that I put up with, give into or believe in all of the crap listed above. Enough is enough already.

Granted, all three will {at some point} be a part of everyone's lives...but I'm ready to make sure that they are no longer a major part of mine.

The truth hurts. It's never fun have to second guess someone you love or, even worse, yourself. And, it's ridiculous to assume that you're better than anyone else. That you can do or say anything, but when {as cliche as it sounds} the shoe shoe is on the other foot...

Enough is enough.

Today I'm through with it. I'm not 100% as strong as I'd like myself to be. Certainly not. But, from here on out, I am going to do my best to keep that backbone of mine from breaking. No longer will I be fodder for trivial bullshit. No longer will I worry about what someone thinks of me.

I will not. I will not. I will not.

Lies, paranoia &'ve messed with me long enough. There IS a confident woman trapped in this body of mine. There IS a fighter. There IS a human being inside of me who is absolutely at the breaking point. No more. I am ready to break free. I am ready to break free of the lies, paranoia & hypocrisy. They do not describe me. They are not me, but they helped to make me. To make me into a better grow & to realize that I'm better than what most would think.

And, for that, I am thankful for the lies, paranoia & hypocrisy.

This is my last twisted thankfulness post because I really am done with it all. I can't harbor any more negativity within my being because it is, quite literally, eating away at me. It's not fun to be so angry. It's not fun to be so hateful at times. I'm not always optimistic, but damn, this is ridiculous. Besides, there's more to life than letting someone else's drama fester in me. Really.



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