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Stuttering Shell: keep out!

Friday, October 23, 2009

keep out!

For those of you who have children, you'll appreciate this.

I remember the birth of both of my children. Vividly. Well, I may not remember much about the pain {God bless the anesthesiologists...I was not going to go through childbirth 'au natural'}, but I do remember my labors & deliveries.

With Malia, it was long. Long & intense. I was induced {I was young, easily swayed & had an aching back}. The contractions started immediately. My contractions were having contractions. The next day - because, yes, I labored through the night & most of the next day - my water was broken. My contractions were still having contractions. Nearly 24 hours later, it was time to deliver my daughter. After almost three hours of pushing, Malia was born.

With Aidan - who came along 27 months later - my labor was short. Short & sweet. Again, I was induced. However, this time it was because Aidan was late. A week late. Besides, my poor body could not tolerate the swelling or the nearly 70 pound weight gain any longer {I gained about 60 pounds when I was pregnant with my daughter}. Not even an hour after I was admitted to the hospital, my water broke. On it's own. What an embarrassing feeling that was. I wasn't even in the hospital for 5 hours when I gave birth to Aidan. His delivery was a breeze. There was a lot of laughing. Laughing & comments about my smooth legs because, yes, I just HAD to shave them before "D day."

But, the point of this post isn't what my children's births were like. It's about who was there {my mom, sister & Adam}...and, more specifically, about Adam being there.

Malia's birth was pretty uneventful, but he's lucky he made it out of the hospital alive after I had our son. He nearly missed the delivery because he was in the drive-thru at Arby's. The man ate curly french fries while I was pushing out our son. Seriously. Since when does laboring & delivering a baby call for hors d'oeuvres?! Besides, I had not eaten since the night before and I was ready to KILL for some freakin' curly fries.

I guess you could say that I was more concerned about trivial bullshit {i.e., those God forsaken curly fries!} than I was about my husband being in the delivery room. I mean, being naked from the waist down & spread eagle for all to see was the least of my worries. I just wanted those damn french fries. For me, childbirth made any sort of modesty {and rationality} fly right out the window. I was not a woman who was embarrassed by the process of childbirth. I didn't care if I let out the longest fart of my life while pushing my child out. Oh, and did I blush when the nurse said to 'bear down like you're having a bowel movement?' Nope. I just pretended I was on a big toilet trying to take the dump of my life.

I suppose I'm not the norm when it comes to birthing babies.

Some women are actually quite apprehensive about having their spouse or significant other in the delivery room with them. And, it's not all about the nerves either. It's been suggested that deliveries may be easier & faster if said male was NOT a part of the delivery room crowd. Hmm...had Adam not been there - with those effin' curly fries - maybe, just maybe....nah.

My friend, Jenny, wrote a fun piece about men & the delivery room. It's hilarious. I urge you all to read it...even if you don't have kids. Let me know what you think. Even better...let Jenny know what you think.

Seriously...READ IT.



For those of you who don't click on links or haven't taken my three hints, the website is this:
http://www.truuconfessions.com/blogs/653

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5 Comments:

Blogger Miss Gina Designs said...

Wonderful post! I laughed until I cried! Now, going to read your friend's post!

Oct 23, 2009, 5:32:00 PM  
Blogger Chelle said...

Lol! I would have killed Leo for eating while I was pushing haha!

I loved this post :) And may I ask how you lost all of your baby weight?! You look amazing!! I'm so jealous ;)

Oct 23, 2009, 10:32:00 PM  
Blogger Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

Oh! that you were focused on the elusive curly fries!!! haha

Um... in the midst of contractions, truly... who cares who is in the room? Well, my hubby was there (barely when our first one was born, he was at bible study and my mom had "made" me go to at least see how far I was.) Girly Twirly was born in 2 hrs, Girly Whirly was born in 40 minutes, and Heartbreaker was born 6 minutes after they broke my water. ...au natural, but more because of how fast it all went. Believe me...at first with our 3rd one, they said I wasnt having much contractions (seriously? then give me every pain med available!...they realized the monitor wasnt on right so it was reading that my contractions were weak ones.)

Ah, well...thank goodness for that contraction amnesia...I dont remember the pain...but then again, it may be since it has been ages ago!!!!

...happy to get a chance to catch up on some blog reading.

Blessings & Aloha!
I have an award (aka bloghug) for you at my place. I do appreciate you, and thank you for coming by and for your past comments!

Oct 24, 2009, 8:16:00 PM  
Blogger J-Ko From The Block said...

Great post. I had no shame during my son's delivery. In fact, I thank my crazy bouts of constipation for helping me to summon all the "bearing down" and pushing. 45 minutes baby. My boy was out!
Thanks for the shout out!
xooxo

Oct 25, 2009, 2:22:00 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

haha I love the arby's thing! I am sorry he almost missed it though!

Oct 26, 2009, 1:48:00 AM  

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