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Stuttering Shell: oh, the melodrama.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

oh, the melodrama.

i haven't been a good bloggy friend. i haven't read any posts. i haven't blogged anything until now. i've been pretty quiet. pretty ho-hum. and then this afternoon came & went and, well, let's just say things are looking pretty bleak. kind of.

work is going well {oh, i've got to tell y'all about that!}. the kids are doing great. adam is adam. i'm alright, i suppose. we just have a lot of drama in our lives right now. we being me & adam. it's mostly adam's stuff, but i'm his wife, his partner, his *ahem* better half. i'm his 'through thick & thin, for richer or poorer, 'til death do we part' person. so, his drama is my drama.

anyways...

the house is a wreck {not really, but it feels like it to me}. the laundry is piling up {but, really, does it ever stop?}. the dishes need to be loaded into the dishwasher. the toilet in the hall bath needs replacing. aidan's room...oh, aidan's room. i'm so sick of asking that boy to pick up his crap. the dog's been eating out of the bathroom trashcans {ew} and tonight he had his first taste of toilet water {our cats like it...gross}. and, it stinks in here. i did wear those god forsaken suede ballet flats today so it could very well be my feet, but this isn't a feet kind of smell. maybe it's the three flats of all sorts of veggies & crap growing in the window behind me. i don't know.

but, it's life.

life. it keeps coming at me.

i want to make it all stop. make things go away. make certain people go away. but, i can't. i can't because it's life. and, right now...right in this very instant, my life is shitty. well, maybe not shitty, but it certainly sucks. of course, there's always somebody out there who has it worse, but whatever. i don't give a rat's ass about whoever that somebody is. dammit, right now i'm bitching about me. me & this pathetic excuse for goodness & graciousness that i try to maintain & uphold on a daily basis.

seriously, y'all, i am on the verge of a nervous fucking breakdown. well, maybe not, but i'm close. i suppose this is what happens when you are the one who bottles up the emotions & deals internally with everything that is going wrong around you.

i want a drink. no, i need a drink. i promise y'all i'm not an alcoholic, but i'd really like to drink myself into a stupor and cry, cry, cry my eyes out. i said it on twitter earlier...lord knows i need a drink...or ten.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Melissa G. said...

Aw, i'm sorry you're having such a rotten time right now! I wish i could make it better some how! Hang in there.
Sending you a hug!

Mar 25, 2010, 10:23:00 PM  
Blogger Brittany Ann said...

Oh no, my friend! Hang in there! I'm thinking of you! Vent away here if it helps! We'll understand!

Mar 25, 2010, 10:41:00 PM  
OpenID jamiedodd said...

Some people just need the snot smacked out of them lol. I know some people who know some people, so you just say the word and I'll have a really creepy meeting in a dark bar with some shady characters who are expert smackers ;) Ok so I really don't know anyone like that but it is always nice to dream. Don't let these people steal your sunshine. I know you guys will get through this, that life will settle down again for you soon. Don't give lying idiots the pleasure of seeing you miserable. Focus on the good, keep a smile on your face and get ridiculously drunk every now and again ;)Love ya girl!!

Mar 26, 2010, 9:29:00 AM  
Blogger Lis @ ATruckerWife said...

((((hugs))))

We definitely need to get you out so you can forget things for a while

Mar 26, 2010, 9:33:00 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

I'm so sorry things have not been going well lately. Have you thought about maybe going to talk to a therapist...? Sometimes, it just feels good to be able to talk to someone and know they are going to listen and not change the subject to themselves. I bet there are some large churches in your area that might offer cheap or free counseling.

Mar 26, 2010, 1:47:00 PM  

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