oh, the melodrama.

i haven't been a good bloggy friend. i haven't read any posts. i haven't blogged anything until now. i've been pretty quiet. pretty ho-hum. and then this afternoon came & went and, well, let's just say things are looking pretty bleak. kind of.

work is going well {oh, i've got to tell y'all about that!}. the kids are doing great. adam is adam. i'm alright, i suppose. we just have a lot of drama in our lives right now. we being me & adam. it's mostly adam's stuff, but i'm his wife, his partner, his *ahem* better half. i'm his 'through thick & thin, for richer or poorer, 'til death do we part' person. so, his drama is my drama.

anyways...

the house is a wreck {not really, but it feels like it to me}. the laundry is piling up {but, really, does it ever stop?}. the dishes need to be loaded into the dishwasher. the toilet in the hall bath needs replacing. aidan's room...oh, aidan's room. i'm so sick of asking that boy to pick up his crap. the dog's been eating out of the bathroom trashcans {ew} and tonight he had his first taste of toilet water {our cats like it...gross}. and, it stinks in here. i did wear those god forsaken suede ballet flats today so it could very well be my feet, but this isn't a feet kind of smell. maybe it's the three flats of all sorts of veggies & crap growing in the window behind me. i don't know.

but, it's life.

life. it keeps coming at me.

i want to make it all stop. make things go away. make certain people go away. but, i can't. i can't because it's life. and, right now...right in this very instant, my life is shitty. well, maybe not shitty, but it certainly sucks. of course, there's always somebody out there who has it worse, but whatever. i don't give a rat's ass about whoever that somebody is. dammit, right now i'm bitching about me. me & this pathetic excuse for goodness & graciousness that i try to maintain & uphold on a daily basis.

seriously, y'all, i am on the verge of a nervous fucking breakdown. well, maybe not, but i'm close. i suppose this is what happens when you are the one who bottles up the emotions & deals internally with everything that is going wrong around you.

i want a drink. no, i need a drink. i promise y'all i'm not an alcoholic, but i'd really like to drink myself into a stupor and cry, cry, cry my eyes out. i said it on twitter earlier...lord knows i need a drink...or ten.