the state of {my marital} union.

i made a comment on twitter this morning about how i told my husband i wanted a divorce for our ten year anniversary.

it's a joke, people.

and, i know some of you out there are wondering how the hell i can even joke about something like marriage {or divorce}. well, considering i've been with the same man for nearly 18 years...

i can.

i'm entitled to feel the way that i do when my husband does something to piss me off or says something that will cause me to fly off the handle. he's not perfect. neither am i. but, are we perfect for one another? without a doubt.

i've said before that marriage is not easy. we've fallen apart more than once. we have our good moments. but, we have our share of bad moments, too. our relationship has evolved in many ways over the years. in a sense, we've grown up together. we met when we were 13. we started dating at 16. the rest, as they say, is history.

my husband was raised in a broken home. i was not. my parents are on the verge of their 40th wedding anniversary. but, even they haven't had a perfect marriage. i'm not ashamed to admit that my marriage is not perfect. we are certainly loyal to one another, but we argue, cuss & fight. throw stress into the mix and watch out. i'm nothing even close to the ideal wife. i'll admit it...i'm mean. i have demands & expectations. my husband does, too.

unfortunately, i don't have a filter and have no problem letting the world know when i am angry with my other half. i just don't see the point in sugar coating things. i mean, what's the point in that? in many ways, the institution of marriage has become a joke. people assume you're in for many years of blissful happiness and that things will be lovey-dovey and perfect. wrong. marriage takes a lot of work. even the happiest of married couples will admit to tough times if you ask them.

some of you will never understand the dynamics of my relationship with my husband. what seems like dysfunction to some looks like a well-oiled machine to others. i'm not making excuses for my marriage. i'm telling you like it is.

those vows i spoke on february 23, 2002? i meant every word.