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Stuttering Shell: My Mom Logic

Monday, April 20, 2009

My Mom Logic defines logic as “a particular method of reasoning or argumentation”

There are times when I feel that there seems to be NO logic at all to my parenting style; however, I am reminded - time & time again - that when it comes to MY mom logic, well, I must be doing something right. Sure, there are a gazillion and one books out there on how to raise your child, what to feed them, what they should do, what you should do...blah, blah, blah...but when it comes down to it, YOU are your own expert – no matter how experienced or inexperienced you are.

I once read that simply having a child doesn’t make you a mother…and I truly believe that it doesn’t. If you ask me, common sense would tell you that. Growing up, I didn't have a nurturing bone in my body. I was terrified of newborns. My daughter was the first newborn I ever held. I remember that first night in the hospital after giving birth to my daughter...I cried and cried and cried. What was I supposed to do? There I was with this precious newborn and now I was considered a mother, but did I feel like one? No. All of my insecurities and doubts about my capabilities as a mother flooded my mind. I was a nervous wreck, but I pushed aside those fears and met the challenges of motherhood head on. Now, here I am, a little more than eight years later, the mother of two wonderful children who certainly have not suffered any ill side-effects due to my apprehensions and lack of confidence just years prior.

I think a lot of my success (thus far) as a mother can be attributed to my twisted sense of mom logic. It's all about the reasoning...your method of using it and why you're using it. When I was a freshman in college, I took a mathematics course that was heavily based in logic (shows how much I paid attention because I can't even remember the name of the course). Three times a week I sat in that 50 minute long class and listened to my Russian professor drone on and on about truths and fallacies...logic, logic, logic. I did not have a clue back then, but I do now. Motherhood is all about truths & fallacies...the logical and the illogical....reasoning & arguing. The bottom line is -- my mom logic is all about knowing how to pick & choose my battles.

Contrary to popular belief, knowing how to pick & choose your battles with a child is not something that comes easily. As an adult, you are used to having things one particular way -- how you want them, why you want them, when you want them -- especially when you are a bossy, semi-control freak like me (I can't help it...I have anal retentive tendencies thanks to my Virgo status!). When you throw a child into the mix, all sense of order and rational thought goes out the window (sometimes). It's really HARD to relinquish whatever sense of control you once had over a situation. As the mother of two children, I've learned quickly, MOSTLY through trial & error, that it is KEY to know when to stand your ground and when to give in. And, for the record, I'd just like to state that I'm not one to dismiss bribing as a way to coerce my children into submission (admit it...neither are you!).

So, this form of logic - that "particular method of reasoning or argumentation" - is most certainly MY mom logic. I rely upon my savvy persuasion skills and my love for discussion (I should have been a lawyer) to get me through. My mom logic is a jumbled mix of reverse psychology, tough (yet unconditional) love and Bill Cosby meets Judge Judy. My mom logic teeters on the verge of fantasy -- did I really think that the laundry was going to fold itself and the house will just instantly appear clean -- but can snap back into reality at a moments notice (yep, the laundry's still not washed and there is a layer of dust on everything). My mom logic fails from time to time - especially when Daddy (a.k.a. The Pushover) gives in - but continues to reign supreme when it comes to what matters most (everything else...ha!). My mom logic might show a hardened exterior, but there is a big softy hidden inside. Most importantly, my mom logic has taught me that I have become the mother that I was meant to be for my children...I didn't know this eight years ago...but I've evolved, I've grown...I am a mother.

So this is what I feel that my mom logic is. Hopefully, some others will agree with me and maybe, just maybe, I'll be chosen as one of the 10 finalists for the Mother of All Bloggers contest sponsored by Momlogic and Mom Bloggers Club. Stay tuned to see if I've been chosen and, if so, get ready to VOTE, VOTE, VOTE for me!

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Blogger becca greene said...

shell, i think the course was actually called logic as that was a math course offered that counted towards the math gen ed requirement.

Apr 20, 2009, 10:13:00 PM  
Blogger Momisodes said...

Well said. I love your down to earth attitude and honest glimpse at motherhood. I don't think any of us are truly prepared on those first few days in the hospital. I know I wasn't, even though I held and cared for babies my entire career. It's so different when they're your own. In the end, it's a learning process for everyone. And it is truly amazing how much those little ones can teach us :)

A lovely piece.

Apr 21, 2009, 11:28:00 AM  
Blogger Shell said...'re probably right.

Thanks, Sandy!

Apr 23, 2009, 10:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Carolee said...

Good for you- you've come a long way, baby!

Stop by my blog, Bloggers Connect and leave your link. You can also check out the other blogs listed.

May 7, 2009, 6:47:00 PM  

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