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Stuttering Shell: Overworked & Underpaid

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Overworked & Underpaid

As Mother’s Day approaches, I thought it would be fun to discuss the many roles I portray on a daily basis:

  • Maid – Cleaning the toilets is the worst part about this gig.
  • Short-order Cook – Consider this my two week’s notice because you’re just going to have to go hungry if you don’t like what’s for dinner.
  • Waitress – this goes hand-in-hand with that short-order cook thing because it seems like everyone wants to be served and cleaned up after. The least they can do is leave a tip (in the form of cold, hard cash) on the table…but that’s wishful thinking.
  • Nurse – whether it’s kissing a boo-boo or wiping a snotty nose or cleaning up vomit, I’m the girl everyone calls. Too bad I can’t write my own prescriptions.
  • Psychiatrist – I heart reverse psychology.
  • Referee – I am there to mediate and get both parties to calm down and be fair.
  • Chauffeur – I need a meter for my dashboard.
  • Laundress – it’s important to make sure you have on a clean pair of underwear every day just in case, right?
  • Banker – Thank goodness for online banking and bill pay.
  • Reporter – because you know Dad gets a full report of all that has gone on whenever he’s not home.
  • PR rep – I keep track of any and all functions that take place within or outside of our household (the "Kate Calendar" from Em Tanner Designs was the best $55 I’ve spent in a long time!).
  • Fashion Designer – I keep the kids looking hip (the hubs, too)…this is one perk of the gig I enjoy because it means I can go shopping!
  • Nutritionist – the goal is to eat healthy, organic food…nevermind that tub of Rocky Road in the freezer. It’s not for you anyway.
  • Veterinarian – I hate hairballs!
  • Animal Control – Damn those cats and the dead animals they bring home.
  • Pest Control – Am I the only one in our house brave enough to kill a spider…with someone else’s shoe?
  • Teacher – Show me your homework, now…I am not afraid to use a red pen!

So this is just a sampling of the many roles I morph into at any given point during the day. Being a mother is hard work, so this Mother’s Day be sure to be especially nice to your (tired) mother…give her a hug, tell her thank you, but do NOT ask her to lift a finger. This is the ONE day out of the year that she gets to take a break and YOU get to take on all of these roles just for her.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous em tanner said...

sooo glad you love your calendar! xo..emtanner

May 30, 2009, 12:41:00 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Ack! Em Tanner...as in THE em tanner...just commented on MY blog post! Aaaahh!

Yes, Em, I HEART my "Kate calenar" with a passion!! You are awesome!

Jun 2, 2009, 11:00:00 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

And, yes, I feel so special to have someone as cool as THE Em Tanner read my blog! :-)

Jun 2, 2009, 11:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Em Tanner Designs is awful. Their customer service is terrible - the manager, Laura, literally cried on the phone when questioned about the quality of the products she sells. Trust me when I say - it would be wiser to order your own custom design from a place like Zazzle.com. At least it will be unique and printed on a better quality shirt!

Mar 28, 2011, 5:13:00 PM  

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