Overworked & Underpaid

As Mother’s Day approaches, I thought it would be fun to discuss the many roles I portray on a daily basis:

• Maid – Cleaning the toilets is the worst part about this gig.
• Short-order Cook – Consider this my two week’s notice because you’re just going to have to go hungry if you don’t like what’s for dinner.
• Waitress – this goes hand-in-hand with that short-order cook thing because it seems like everyone wants to be served and cleaned up after. The least they can do is leave a tip (in the form of cold, hard cash) on the table…but that’s wishful thinking.
• Nurse – whether it’s kissing a boo-boo or wiping a snotty nose or cleaning up vomit, I’m the girl everyone calls. Too bad I can’t write my own prescriptions.
• Psychiatrist – I heart reverse psychology.
• Referee – I am there to mediate and get both parties to calm down and be fair.
• Chauffeur – I need a meter for my dashboard.
• Laundress – it’s important to make sure you have on a clean pair of underwear every day just in case, right?
• Banker – Thank goodness for online banking and bill pay.
• Reporter – because you know Dad gets a full report of all that has gone on whenever he’s not home.
• PR rep – I keep track of any and all functions that take place within or outside of our household (the "Kate Calendar" from Em Tanner Designs was the best $55 I’ve spent in a long time!).
• Fashion Designer – I keep the kids looking hip (the hubs, too)…this is one perk of the gig I enjoy because it means I can go shopping!
• Nutritionist – the goal is to eat healthy, organic food…nevermind that tub of Rocky Road in the freezer. It’s not for you anyway.
• Veterinarian – I hate hairballs!
• Animal Control – Damn those cats and the dead animals they bring home.
• Pest Control – Am I the only one in our house brave enough to kill a spider…with someone else’s shoe?
• Teacher – Show me your homework, now…I am not afraid to use a red pen!

So this is just a sampling of the many roles I morph into at any given point during the day. Being a mother is hard work, so this Mother’s Day be sure to be especially nice to your (tired) mother…give her a hug, tell her thank you, but do NOT ask her to lift a finger. This is the ONE day out of the year that she gets to take a break and YOU get to take on all of these roles just for her.