Dear Vomit Monster...

Thank you for starting my week off with a bang.

There's nothing like waking up on a Monday morning to find your child doubled over with stomach pains on the couch. Even better is finding out she had an {accident} in her bed and that basically everything needs to be washed in hot water & doused in Lysol.

This is the last week of school. The last week. Is your timing perfect, or what? Why now? Why couldn't you have skipped over my house for a few days...maybe come back on Friday when the kids are out of school. I hate that my child has to miss one of the last full days of class, but it also tears me apart to see her feeling so sick.

You, Mr. Vomit Monster, are thoughtless, careless and downright mean. I don't like you. Of course, I hope that you don't retaliate and seek vengeance upon me. That would be awful, but - knowing my luck - you will. Anyways, just come & go...quickly. My child has to finish the 2nd grade...she doesn't need to be worried about where the nearest trash can is or what she can eat that will stay down (thank goodness she likes toast).

Just take a hike and move onto the next family (sorry to the next family...whomever you are!)...and spare my other child while you're here, too, will ya?