Dear creepy man in the green plaid shirt,

Thank you for keeping me on edge during my lunch break today. Who knew that a simple trip to the mall for a book & some chicken teriyaki would have me power walking through the parking lot with my keys {weaved between my fingers like they were a pair of brass knuckles} in one hand and my Crackberry {ready to call Virginia Beach's finest} in the other.

I figured you were just some random dude I would never see again when I walked by you outside of Barnes & Noble. I don't know how you managed to bump into me again in the mall {I mean, I did go into two different stores}, but you did. When you followed me onto the escalator to the food court, I figured you were hungry like I was. When you walked BY me on the escalator, you kind of creeped me out. Maybe you were really hungry & in a hurry to choose which fast food place you wanted to grab a bite to eat from...I don't know. What I do know is that it's not cool to walk by people on an escalator {maybe that's just me, but...}.

And, you know what's REALLY not cool? Me turning around in the chicken teriyaki line to find you standing there. Yeah, not cool. I know I'm being a bit selfish, but that was MY idea for lunch. I understand that maybe you were hungry, too, but seeing you for a third time in less than a half-hour was more than just mere coincidence {at least it is in my paranoid mind}. Especially because each time I saw you you were looking right at me. Ew.

Just so you know, I was totally ready to take your sorry butt out with my two orders of food {one was for a friend...sheesh...I'm not that hungry}. It's creepy people like you who fuel my desire to shop online. At home. Where I'm not bothered by creepy men in green plaid shirts {remind me to check the hubs' closet}.

Sincerely,
The overly cautious girl

Sidenote: OK, so this might be a bit presumptuous, but I stand my ground. I've had one too many strange run-ins at the mall before {one involving my children even}, so I've always got my guard up.