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Stuttering Shell: ohh, i...i will survive!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

ohh, i...i will survive!

be thankful - very, very thankful - that you cannot actually hear me singing 'i will survive' because, well, honestly, um...yeah...your eardrums wouldn't survive.

there is cussing in this post, if you have sensitive eyes then i suggest that you read something other than this post.


my BFF is stress. at least it has been lately. stress at work {and that's all i'm sayin' because certain inquiring minds out there want to know too much and, well, everyone gets stressed at work} has been increasing. increasing stress at work has trickled into my home life. into my parenting life. into my life. ick.

so, i was chatting with a wise friend today and she suggested that i create a survival pack. nothing special...just a lil' something i could keep, oh, in my purse or desk drawer that is customized for me & my BFF stress.

the contents of my 'stressed out at work' survival pack would include...

  • chocolate {'nuff said}
  • a couple of smokes {i know, i know}
  • ear plugs {i wonder where my green pair for the nascar races is...}
  • cough syrup - because my friend's reasoning is this: you can't drink liquor {at work} but cough syrup might do the trick
  • a rape whistle - again, my friend says that i could just blow it loud when people want to talk to me {just in case the ear plugs don't deter people}
  • a face mask this way people will be like, "oh, you really are sick." {yeah, sick in the head!}

    and, last, but not least...

  • my son's electronic whoopie cushion {don't ask} because, as my friend says, nobody wants to deal with a loud, gassy bitch -- and the bonus of this's got a remote control. yeah.

sooo...if you, too, found yourself in a similar stressed-out position as i am currently in, what would your survival pack include?

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Blogger Luna said...

lol the stress pack is a good idea. i dont know about all the items for me but i definitely agree with the chocolate.

Nov 4, 2009, 6:41:00 PM  
Blogger Chelle said...

Fun! Well, not the stress issue, but the idea of a survival pack. Here's my list:

gossip magazine
coffee from starbucks in one of their red cups
nail polish to do my toes (haha!)
choc chip cookies
and a trashy novel

Oh--and if this was for after the husband came home from work it would include a bottle of white wine and my FAVE wine glass :)

Nov 4, 2009, 7:26:00 PM  
Blogger Brittany Ann said...

Love this idea! And love the whoopie cushion.

I'd add coffee to mine. A must have!

Nov 4, 2009, 7:38:00 PM  
Blogger mommywonderland said...

Just over here lurking, stalking, whatever you wanna call it! Im hooked on you already that is for sure! I love the idea of a stress pack..WINE is at the top of my list!!!!

Nov 4, 2009, 9:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Cheri Head said...

Haha! Hang in there, friend. LOVE your blog!

Nov 4, 2009, 10:18:00 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Potts said...

I think I'd just like a copy of your survival pack, minus the cigs.

I'd probably throw in the latest issue of Lucky for some eye candy. Or maybe US Weekly. Strike that, it'd be STAR for the trashy dirt!

Nov 5, 2009, 11:09:00 AM  
Blogger Molly Lou Gifts said...

I think this is just fantastic and could be used in sooooooooo many more life scenarios. You could package these and market them.

I was also singing I Will Survive after reading at the top and was thinking what an AWESOME duo we could be singing it together. Just a thought...

Nov 5, 2009, 12:58:00 PM  
Blogger Kerry said...

haha thats hilarious! what a great survival pack! hehe! xx

Nov 6, 2009, 3:27:00 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

okay that list is hilarious! I love it!

Nov 7, 2009, 1:18:00 AM  
Blogger BLC :o said...

A cocktail for every problem! Xoxo-BLC

Nov 7, 2009, 5:16:00 PM  

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