ohh, i...i will survive!

be thankful - very, very thankful - that you cannot actually hear me singing 'i will survive' because, well, honestly, um...yeah...your eardrums wouldn't survive.

there is cussing in this post, too...so if you have sensitive eyes then i suggest that you read something other than this post.

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anyways...

my BFF is stress. at least it has been lately. stress at work {and that's all i'm sayin' because certain inquiring minds out there want to know too much and, well, everyone gets stressed at work} has been increasing. increasing stress at work has trickled into my home life. into my parenting life. into my life. ick.

so, i was chatting with a wise friend today and she suggested that i create a survival pack. nothing special...just a lil' something i could keep, oh, in my purse or desk drawer that is customized for me & my BFF stress.

the contents of my 'stressed out at work' survival pack would include...

• chocolate {'nuff said}
• a couple of smokes {i know, i know}
• ear plugs {i wonder where my green pair for the nascar races is...}
• cough syrup - because my friend's reasoning is this: you can't drink liquor {at work} but cough syrup might do the trick
• a rape whistle - again, my friend says that i could just blow it loud when people want to talk to me {just in case the ear plugs don't deter people}
• a face mask this way people will be like, "oh, you really are sick." {yeah, sick in the head!}
  
  and, last, but not least...
  
  
• my son's electronic whoopie cushion {don't ask} because, as my friend says, nobody wants to deal with a loud, gassy bitch -- and the bonus of this is...it's got a remote control. yeah.

sooo...if you, too, found yourself in a similar stressed-out position as i am currently in, what would your survival pack include?