eat, pray, love

So I'm currently reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert and it's opening my mind to things that I have never really thought about. Wait, scratch that. It's opening my mind to things that I don't think about often enough. Yes, that is it.

While I might not be a thirty something divorcee like the heroine in the book, I am a thirty something woman who still has a lot of life ahead of her and a lot of life's questions still lie unanswered. I consider myself to have a good relationship with my God. While my faith is not always unwavering (I do have my doubts from time to time, you know!), I do feel that I am not quite as "lost" as some people who are wandering along on this planet.

As I read, I'm realizing that I place far too much importance on trivial things that, in the end, just don't really matter. Bottom line is, I'm wasting too much of my precious lifetime to try and dwell upon things that have happened or worry about things that are going to happen. I need to learn to relax, step back and let things run their course. Now, letting go....that's a big step for me. I don't just "let go." I'm a semi-control freak. I like to have things how I want them, when I want them, etc.

Me and surprises -- no good.
Me and spontaneity -- no good.
Me and worrying -- good.
Me and dictating -- good.

That's all got to change. It has to. I can't keep living my life this way. You would think that having children would change this, but it hasn't. Adam's learned to roll with my "punches." And, while I keep throwing those "punches", "Eat, Pray, Love" is making me realize that I need to stop with the "punching." I need to release myself, relinquish the control and move on. And, moving on is my goal. Being able to let go and walk through life with a "C'est la vie" attitude.

We'll see...