Let's NOT Get It On

After my experience at the gyno yesterday, I really, really wish that men could experience what it's like to have a uterus for one day. Just.One.Day. That's all. No more. No less.

And, during that time, I would like for them to spend the day at the gyno having anything and everything that could possibly happen to said uterus happen. You know. The poking. The prodding. The examining. The measuring. Yes, they measure it. From the inside.

Ladies, I don't know about you & how you are after a less than stellar gyno visit, but after my day yesterday, I am very happy to say that my va-jay-jay is on strike and she's taking a mini vacay. A much deserved vacay. She carried two children. She birthed two children. She had an intruder live within her for nearly five years...only to have the intruder evicted and get replaced by another one. She's got a friend until the year 2014. And, hopefully by that time I can convince my dear, sweet husband that, yes, it IS okay to take matters into his own hands...because if he doesn't, I will!

I'm trying to skirt around the TMI bush (bush....ha ha ha...pun intended?) because after the day I had yesterday my humor level has sunk to an all-time low and I really have not one single ounce of modesty left in me. Funny how that happens...after seeing your gyno for so long you can actually carry on casual - even funny - conversations while she's totally violating you in the worst way.

So, for just one day - ONE day - it would be nice for a man to finally experience just a wee bit of what us ladies have to put up with at the doctor's office. And, if they still don't get it, then they need to experience a Brazilian wax, too.

If you're still confused, go back and read "Tick, tick, tick..."

Can I Get A Baseline?

Friday’s appointment with the genetic counselor went well. The most difficult part of the whole appointment was the homework I had to do PRIOR to my appointment. I was required to bring with me to my immediate family's medical history - more specifically, whether or not anyone has been diagnosed with cancer. A few phone calls later and after I had copied some of my mother's paperwork (she's been there, done that with this whole genetic counseling/testing thing), I knew more about my family’s health history than I ever thought I would want to know. I suppose it’s a good thing because it IS pretty damn important to know what types of illnesses have afflicted or are currently affecting your family.

Anyway, my mother & I went to the oncologist’s office…I normally go to the 2nd floor where the gynecologic oncologists hang out, but this time I stayed on the 1st floor where everyone else goes. It was pretty humbling sitting in the waiting room. There I was sitting with my mother while people are being brought in and out on wheelchairs, reading the newspaper wearing pretty scarves on their heads or walking in clutching the arm of a loved one. Some looked rather tough and others were quite frail looking. Being there made me thankful that I still had my mother sitting next to me and that her cancer was caught early enough that my mother fought back aggressively (I mean, a single mastectomy is pretty darned aggressive in my book).

When we met with the genetic counselor, we went over my family history starting with my children, then my parents & sister, then my parents’ parents & their children, cousins, nieces, nephews and so on. We even talked about members of my extended family. After about an hour of talking, asking questions and nodding heads, the genetic counselor entered my information into the computer and basically read me my cancer fortune, if you want to call it that. Based on my mom’s “no mutations found” result of her genetic test, it was determined that my mom’s breast cancer was sporadic and not hereditary and, therefore, I would not need any further genetic counseling/testing. The computer basically told me that I was right on track for any other normal female of my age and that my chances of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer were in the “normal” range…meaning, as I get older, my chances for developing the cancer becomes greater, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary. While these computer-generated results do offer me a sense of relief, I am still a bit skeptical because it’s just a statistical model. My mother’s sister passed away from breast cancer 12 years ago. That’s two out of five sisters from the same family who were affected. Could there be some hereditary significance? Maybe, but we’ll never REALLY know because my mom had genetic testing done that said there was nothing wrong and her sister passed away long before any tests could determine one's destiny with breast cancer.

At any rate, it was suggested to me to go ahead and start the screening process. I mean, monthly self-exams can only tell so much, right? (My mom's cancer was detected after two mammograms...a self-breast exam didn't detect the cancer...and it was only at the insistence of one of my mom's doctors that they re-did the mammograms and they actually found something...not everyone is lucky enough to have a doctor who will actually advocate for the patient.) The genetic counselor recommended that I get a baseline mammogram this year since I’m only 10 years younger than the age of my mother’s sister when she was diagnosed. If all goes well, a normal baseline will give my doctor’s a good gauge of what my "normal" is and I won’t have to get another one done for a couple years. The easy part is getting the mammogram scheduled. The prospect of smashing my itty, bitty girls between two cold slabs of metal is the part that stresses me out. Of course, the inconvenience and the temporary discomfort is just one of the necessary evils us women have to endure in order to make sure we’re staying healthy. Surely a digital picture of my boobs is much more comfortable than going to the va-jay-jay doctor for a well-woman exam, right?!

CHECKING ON THE GIRLS?

I'm going to see my oncologist tomorrow.

I haven't seen him in a couple years...I haven't had to. But, I'm going to visit him tomorrow to talk. To talk to him about what my options are and what he feels is best for me to do as an almost 32 year old woman who hails from a family with a history of breast cancer. My mom's sister died from it. My mom fought the battle with it just over two years ago. She lost a breast, but she won. I'm already playing with fire because I have a higher risk of developing cervical cancer than most women. Two surgeries by two (gynecological) oncologists in the last eight years might not seem like much to most, but seeing as how cancer - and not just breast cancer - has taken so many from my family, well, I feel like I need to do something.

For me personally, doing a monthly breast exam just doesn't seem reassuring enough. I don't know if genetic testing is in my future. My mother, oddly enough, doesn't think that I should do it and really doesn't think that it will be offered to me (her genetic testing was done AFTER her diagnosis of breast cancer and, wouldn't you know it, her test came back inconclusive). I've always said that you'll never know a thing if you don't ever ask...so that is what I'm going to do tomorrow. Ask. Ask questions. Ask many questions. I don't necessarily like the idea of having a way to find out my fate, but in a situation like this I'd rather not be blind-sided by my own body.


Update since the appointment:
I meet with a genetic counselor next month. My parents will be attending the appointment with me. Hopefully, we'll know more about what my options are once we meet with the counselor.

Sinu-what?

I just got over a sinus infection. In fact, I took my last antibiotic on February 8th. Obviously, the z-pack didn't do jack because here I am a little more than a week later and I feel something coming on. Could it be my sinuses again? Is it possible that the antibiotics didn't do their job. Possibly. Am I going to spend another $20 on a copay just to get a prescription for some $20 antibiotics again? Probably not.

After talking with my parents tonight, they suggested that I:

1. Keep my cats out of the house -- um, this is not an option and, as far as I know, I am not allergic to cats.
2. Use a warm compress on my face for 20 minutes three times a day -- again, probably not going to happen because I'm not THAT disciplined (besides, I'd look like a jackass at the office when I'm sitting at my desk with a washcloth over my face)
3. Start using a neti pot -- a neti what?

The third suggestion intrigues me. My parents told me that they found some product at Costco today for sinus relief. SinusAid, SinusIde...I couldn't quite make it out and my father wasn't too sure about the exact name. My guess is this:

http://www.sinucleanse.com/index.htm

I figure it's worth a shot -- well, at least that is what my brief rundown of the website tells me. Of course, this warrants yet another trip to freakin' Wally World. Ugh. But, if it means my sinuses get bathed and pampered then I guess it would be worth it, right? I'm a bit skeeved out about intentionally pouring water in one nostril only to see it come out of the other one, but I guess I'll get over it, right?

Anyone out there have any experiences with neti pots or sinus cleansing? Anyone have any other ideas besides asking for yet another prescription (because I'm not good at remembering to take medication)?

I just want to be able to breathe again.

Breathing a sigh of relief...well, trying to breathe...

I finally saw my doctor. The phone woke me up around 1pm (I fell asleep watching Food Network...THAT'S how crummy I am feeling!) and I was able to get an appointment for 3:10pm. Thank goodness. And, thank goodness I was in and out of the doctor's office. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that it took all morning and part of the afternoon for them to call me. I'm glad I didn't just go up there and sit and wait. My doctor is a busy man.

Anywho...he saw me. He looked in my ears, nose and throat. Poked at my neck. Asked me about my symptoms...yadda, yadda, yadda. He told me what I knew. I have a sinus infection. He wrote me a 'script for some Zithromax and off to Target I went. And, holy cow, Zithromax is really a $20 'script?? WTF? I want my $4 generic. Oh, well. I'm too lazy to fight it and, besides, my head hurts.

So, I'm about to take my first two doses of the stuff...and then I'm on it for four more days. Hooray for medicine and here's to hoping I'll feel much better soon!

I spoke too soon.

It's nearly 10am and I'm still here at home. I just took a nice, hot shower -- and I'm still congested, my throat still hurts and my ears have that funny clogged feeling. I've called the doctor's office already, too.

At first I called the after hours answering service line -- whoops! But, really, it's like the first number you see on the website. Did they really expect me to read? After I realized my mistake, I called the office number expecting to speak to someone considering how small my family doctor's practice is (it's just him and a nurse practitioner).....um, tell me why I had to leave a message? It was no different than calling a friend and getting their voice mail or answering machine. Seriously. The last thing that was said before the BEEP was that they would call back. So, I'm waiting.

And waiting and waiting and waiting. And, no, they didn't call back while I was in the shower because I checked the caller ID on the house phone and I checked my cell phone, too.

I hate waiting. Especially for something like this. I suppose I could just drive to the doctor's office and see if they are taking walk-ins and sit and wait, but then I'd just waste my whole day and, considering I'm not feeling 100% myself, I'd rather sit and waste the day here in the comfort of my own home.

What is even more irritating is the possibility of not even seeing the doctor today and having to go back tomorrow or even Friday. I really wanna see someone today so I can get on the right meds (if need be). I have a commitment on Friday -- and out of state commitment -- and I gotta be healthy...OK, semi-healthy (I'm only pouring drinks for a bunch of men at a Ducks Unlimited banquet). Ugh!



(it is kind of funny to think about it, though...I'm always sick this time of year right before the DU banquet...just ask Adam's cousin's wife, Cindy...she's the one pouring the drinks with me!)