my kind of perfect.

{via pinterest}

i don't believe in a fairy tale kind of love story. 

call me jaded. call me cold-hearted. call me whatever. 

i just don't believe in it. 

maybe it's because i've never experienced the kind of love that seems too good to be true. 

or, maybe it's because my version of perfect love is slightly skewed from everyone elses.

but i do know one thing.

this quote? 

it describes my husband perfectly. it describes me perfectly.

it describes us perfectly.

for the first time.

this song.

 oh, this song. 

the first time i heard it, i got a little teary-eyed. 

some of the lyrics hit close to home.

too close to home. 

{source}

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart

While I'm drinking Jack all alone in my local bar and we don't know how

How we got into this mad situation, only doing things out of frustration

Trying to make it work, but, man, these times are hard

She needs me now but I can't seem to find the time

I got a new job now on the unemployment line and we don't know how

How we got into this mess, is it God's test? Someone help us 'cause we're doing our best

Trying to make things work, but, man, these times are hard

But we're gonna stop by drinking our cheap bottles of wine

Sit talking up all night, saying things we haven't for a while, a while, yeah

We're smiling but we're close to tears, even after all these years

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

She's in line at the dole with her head held high

While I just lost my job but didn't lose my pride, and we both now how

How we're going to make it work when it hurts, when you pick yourself up you get kicked to the dirt

Tryin' to make it work, but, man, these times are hard

But we're gonna start by drinking our cheap bottles of wine

Sit talking up all night, doing things we haven't for a while, a while, yeah

We're smiling but we're close to tears, even after all these years

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

Drinking our cheap bottles of wine

Sit talking up all night, saying things we haven't for a while, a while, yeah

We're smiling but we're close to tears, even after all these years

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

For the first time

Oh, for the first time

Yeah, for the first time

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

Oh, these times are hard, yeah, they're making us crazy

Don't give up on me, baby

Oh, these times are hard, yeah, they're making us crazy

Don't give up on me, baby

Oh, these times are hard, yeah, they're making us crazy

Don't give up on me, baby

Oh, these times are hard, yeah, they're making us crazy

Don't give up on me, baby

{lyrics from here}

falling to pieces?

it sure seems like it.

last sunday, my marriage was very close to being over.  very close.  we yelled.  we cried.  we accused.  we fought.  we hurt.  we blamed.  we {almost} gave up.

and then...we made up. things are fine now. 

there's a lot of stress weighing on our shoulders at the moment and we're slowly, but surely, drowning in it all.

more stress & uncertainty was thrown at us just yesterday.  top off those three hateful letters in the mail with a very sad, unsuccessful phone call to adam's father and it's easy to see why we're stressed, on edge & barely hanging on. 

but, i'm not quitting.  not on adam.  not on myself.  not on my family.

{source}

us.

{us. playa del carmen, mexico. september 2008.}

blue collar.  hard working.  honest. 

making ends meet.  paying off debt.  surviving.

loved.  disliked.  indifferent {sometimes}.

loyal.  faithful.  best friends.

open-minded.  learning from past mistakes.  living life with no regrets.

parents.  son.  daughter.

not entirely sure where the path of our lives will take us, but we're absolutely certain that we'll survive.  be strong.  and benefit from all that the Lord provides for us. 

together.