do what?!

while waiting for the school holiday program to start last night, i sat next to the hubs and watched him fiddle with his new work phone. he was trying to show me a couple features of the phone when...

the lady sitting to my left elbowed me in the ribs {really, she did}.

"is he texting his mistress?"

um, i'm sorry...come again?

"sorry, it was a joke."

oh, {through a fake smile} ha ha ha ha ha ha. so you DID crack some stupid tiger w*ods joke. i'm very sorry if i forgot to laugh.

{i found the picture here and i cropped it and added the 'x.'}

"you know, because he's messing with his phone. looked like he was texting & i noticed you watching him."

um, no, nosey lady, my husband was not texting his mistress. he has neither time nor money for a mistress. besides, this is a man who can barely type on a computer keyboard {sorry, honey}...could you imagine how long it would take for him to text? yikes. he was just messing around on his phone...he's a little technologically inept sometimes {again, sorry, honey} when it comes to new cell phones. and, for the record, he doesn't golf. not very well, at least.

besides, i'm fairly certain NO woman out there wants a broke man who has no time...has kids...and has a bitchy wife {even if he does cook well}.