it's empty in the valley of {my} heart.

i'm feeling hateful once again.

i'm still hurt and so is my other half {perhaps my better half, at times?}.  we keep looking for closure, but all we run into is another stumbling block or more surprising news.  honestly, folks, you don't know betrayal, lies or deceit until your own neck has been strangled by the hands of a family member {figuratively, not literally}.

anyways.

this song makes me think of our situation.  except, i would probably let that person choke on the noose around his neck.  yep.  i'm a mean girl like that.  because, really, all that we want is to live {our} life as its meant to be.

enjoy.

{source}

do what?!

while waiting for the school holiday program to start last night, i sat next to the hubs and watched him fiddle with his new work phone. he was trying to show me a couple features of the phone when...

the lady sitting to my left elbowed me in the ribs {really, she did}.

"is he texting his mistress?"

um, i'm sorry...come again?

"sorry, it was a joke."

oh, {through a fake smile} ha ha ha ha ha ha. so you DID crack some stupid tiger w*ods joke. i'm very sorry if i forgot to laugh.

{i found the picture here and i cropped it and added the 'x.'}

"you know, because he's messing with his phone. looked like he was texting & i noticed you watching him."

um, no, nosey lady, my husband was not texting his mistress. he has neither time nor money for a mistress. besides, this is a man who can barely type on a computer keyboard {sorry, honey}...could you imagine how long it would take for him to text? yikes. he was just messing around on his phone...he's a little technologically inept sometimes {again, sorry, honey} when it comes to new cell phones. and, for the record, he doesn't golf. not very well, at least.

besides, i'm fairly certain NO woman out there wants a broke man who has no time...has kids...and has a bitchy wife {even if he does cook well}.

thankful for drama.

It's already been one of those days...it's probably going to be one of those weeks. That's just how the cookie crumbles around here. And, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I figured I would focus on something not so positive & talk about why I am thankful for it.

Strange, huh? Yeah, I thought so. But, this is also {negative} me trying to be more optimistic & positive {so please humor me a little, 'mkay?}.

Today is Monday & I am thankful for all of the drama that surrounds my life. A certain someone told me that I have a crazy life {and that she loves it...really? 'Cause you can have it! Ha!}. I got to thinking about this...

I do have a crazy life. Well, maybe not my life in particular, but everything surrounding my life is. Without going into too much detail {because I don't need any further accusations about myself circulating around out there}, we are - this family that I am married into - the epitome of why there is fun in dysfunction.

What I have witnessed these last couple of years has really opened my eyes as to how things shouldn't be. I am all the more wiser & knowledgeable because of the short-comings, struggles & foolish shenanigans I have seen take place. I feel most fortunate to have grown up in an environment that was the complete opposite of what I'm currently semi-living through. I feel that I am a better person because I now realize & understand how ridiculous & petty crap can be erroneously mistaken for someones good intentions. I have learned that I have been quite naive in the past. Naive to the point of being walked all over...but not anymore. I also feel that I've grown as a parent & have learned some very strong & beneficial lessons of how not to be/act as a caregiver.

The drama is crazy. The drama is usually pure bullshit. But, the drama is drama. It's going to be there no matter what. Sure, I may bitch about it. I may cry about it. But, at least I've learned from it.

And, for that, I am thankful.

What would you do?

If someone has made it perfectly clear that they do not care for you & that they do not wish to even acknowledge your existence, YET they still want your children to come over and play with their child...what would you do?

Not to get into *cough*family*cough* drama, but this is an ex-family member I am speaking of.

The hubs says that I'm being mean...that I should let the kids play because the kids are just innocent victims in this unfortunate situation. While I agree to some extent, I remain firm about my decision and I stand my ground. There have been a few times when I RELUCTANTLY let them go, but I absolutely cannot stand them being over there.

I don't think I am wrong. I don't think I am being mean. I don't think I am robbing my children of any precious moments. I believe that I am proving a point. I believe that I am "sticking to my guns."

As stubborn as I may sound right now {and petty, too} I truly feel that it's NOT in my children's best interest to be around someone who has made it blatantly clear that my husband & I no longer exist. Our family is one package...you take us or you leave us. You can't have the kids without the parents. What you see is what you get and if you don't like it, well, tough.