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Stuttering Shell

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

moms don't get grossed out...or do they?

i've said it before..."i'm a mom. nothing grosses me out anymore."

i mean, i can handle potty talk - of the pee & poo kind, but i can deal with the other kind of potty talk, too.

potty talk while eating? no problem. it's gross, i know, but momma's not gonna let anything come between her & her food.

problems with the pee or poo? no sweat. i've potty-trained two children - one of whom had some serious "elimination issues" - so talk about constipation, diarrhea or suppositories don't make me cringe. wiping butts isn't an issue either...unless you are too damn old to be asking someone to wipe your hiney.

projectile vomit doesn't send me running. i will even investigate to see if something was eaten that shouldn't have been {imagine my son's dismay when just a few weeks ago he was busted - post-vomit - for eating airheads of the blue variety}.

boogers & snot? no worries. i'll pick your nose or wipe it...whatever is needed.

dirty sheets? it doesn't matter the accident {well, maybe it does}, but i'll wash them for you.

high fevers? motrin & a tepid bath it is!

funky rashes, bumps & other skin wickedness? i've got some cream in the cabinet somewhere.

i like to feel that i'm pretty immune to most all of what gets thrown my way now that i'm a semi-experienced mother of two {and by semi-experienced i mean that my kids haven't reach the 'tween/teen years yet...that's a whole 'nother ballgame!}.

however...and this is a big however...

i do get grossed out.

did you notice that i did not mention a single word about blood or loose teeth? yep. you guessed it...

if you're bleeding for any reason other than a paper cut or a minor scrape, please go bother someone else. don't even ask me for a band aid. i can't help you. i won't help you. yeah, yeah, yeah...i birthed two babies. there was blood. but that was my blood, people! i don't want to see your blood.

as for loose teeth, don't wiggle them in front of me even if i did ask you, "is your tooth loose?" and, if they are really wiggly & just hanging by a nerve, please don't come running to show me. you'll be asked kindly to "go find your father." i have even been known to bribe my children to get them away from me with their loose teeth {this almost always seems work against me...i still owe my daughter the dress she wanted from target because i told her that if she would just pull out her loose tooth i would get it}.

needless to say, i guess i'm not as 'tough' as i think i am. but, i suppose being squeamish about two out of the many gross things that come along with having children isn't really bad. is it?

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Blog Fart

Silly Blogger & it's IE issues...surely I'm not the only one who gets the "gong noise" and the "operation aborted" pop-up window no matter whose blog I'm trying to view, right??

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