dear Lord, this is a mess...

because it really is.

i received a very sweet email from a dear friend, whitney, yesterday. y'all...she's a doll {and i'm a poet and i didn't even know it}.

i shared with her {and a few others} some of my family's recent struggles & worries. she replied back with words of wisdom. words that i needed to read. encouragement that i needed to get. she directed me here.

it's funny. that particular devotional rings so true with me. i wouldn't be surprised if it did with you all, too.

i am a do-er. i am a thinker. i am a "what if-er." i have a tendency to try and micromanage any & all aspects of my life...even the ones that i cannot control. i have a need to feel in control...even when it's blatantly obvious that i cannot be. so, that devotional really hit home for me.

it hit home because, in my mind, i need peace. i need peace & quiet {i'd like some at home, too, but it's hard when you've got an 8 year old & a 6 year old who can & will argue about darn near everything}. but, there IS no peace...not when i'm worrying. if i could just let go and let the Lord tackle this issue for me, then i would have more time & more energy to cherish other things like my children, my husband, my family. because, seriously y'all, worrying about this {for the lack of a better word} crap is exhausting.

whitney shared a powerful bible verse with me that helps her get by in tough times:

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness...”

2 corinthians 12:9

what's funny is that i have the very same bible verse pinned to my bulletin board here at home. well, it's just a smidgen different {but you know how the different bible versions can be}:

"My strength is made perfect in weakness..."
2 corinthians 12:9

after i read whitney's email, i took a second glance at my bulletin board and, wouldn't you know it, this is what else i saw:

"Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you."
Psalm 55:22

go figure. all the reassurance i needed was right there all along. but, of course, having the added encouragement from good friends is all the more wonderful. so, i'm going to move forward from here and not let our current strife weigh heavy on my heart {at least i'm going to try really hard not to}. if i had all of the answers or if i could foresee the future, i wouldn't be in this situation...my family wouldn't be in this situation. and, there is no doubt in my mind that the Lord would not give me {or my family} any more than He thought we could handle.

so perhaps there is a reason for all of this. what that reason is...i do not know just yet. i don't want to know just yet. i'll wait for the Lord to show me...to show us. instead, i'll do my best to keep calm & carry on. God has been good to my family thus far...i can't imagine He would fail me now.

like the devotional says, the first four letters of Messiah spell...yep...m-e-s-s {kinda like the word stressed is desserts spelled backwards...okay...so maybe it's not entirely like that but when i'm cramming chocolates down my throat i find comfort in that tidbit}. i'm turning over this mess to the Lord. clearly, i'm not able to make sense of it all. i'm teetering on the verge of angry bitterness and that's certainly not the way to solve this issue.

i truly believe that we will be okay in the end {even though it doesn't seem like it right now}. "all you need is love" is what my husband keeps saying. ha. don't i wish. but, perhaps he's right. so, i'm going to be hopeful. perhaps one day i'll be ready to forgive. but, for now, the only way i'm going to get through this is by letting the Lord handle it {because goodness knows i don't need an ulcer right now, too}.

worry & cuppycakes.

you wouldn't be surprised if i told you that things have been quite stressful lately. just when things seem ok, they get worse. but, whatever. i can't do anything about it except to try not to worry about it, right? {did that even make sense?}

i watched dave ramsey the other night and he was quoting dale carnegie. basically, what i got out of the program {which happened to be on bankruptcy - not something relevant to us...i just like to listen to dave ramsey talk about finances} was this:

80% of what we worry about will never happen.

so, where am i going with this? absolutely nowhere. well, except for the fact that i have it drilled into my sweet little head that i have to stop worrying. because, honestly folks, worrying could be considered one of my talents.

therefore, in light of the stress & the worry, i decided to treat myself to something sweet. i would just like to say that i had every intention of only getting ONE cupcake, but i left the store yesterday afternoon with a DOZEN.

of course, there are a couple missing in the picture...

during lunch, i ventured over to just cupcakes. i went for a pink ribbon cupcake {they call it the cupcake for a cure}. i got one four {they were done two ways - vanilla with pink ribbon sprinkles & chocolate with pink sugar}. oh, and two pumpkin spice. and two frankly scarletts {a.k.a. red velvet}. and two m's cupcakes. AND, two choco-coco. they are delicious. such a sinful treat for someone who is watching her budget and is perfectly capable of baking her own yummy goodness at home.

but, who could resist?

of course, now what am i doing? worrying. i'm worried about how i can justify having a cupcake at every meal. yes, even breakfast. i'm staring at a pumpkin spice cuppycake right now.

oh, boy.

Tornado Warning!

It's that time of year again...time for the crazy Virginia weather to rear it's ugly head. You know, the warm, humid air that erupts almost instantly into a thunderstorm at the blink of an eye. It isn't just here in Virginia...it seems to be plaguing the South like something crazy!

I was fixing dinner, the hubs had just finished mowing the backyard and the kids were watching some T.V. It got really dark outside and I heard a big ole rumble of thunder. Uh, oh. I checked the weather on the computer and saw a big glob of red on the radar headed our way. Don't get me wrong, red is my favorite color, but when it's used in reference to the weather I start to panic a little bit on the inside.

The view from our front porch (looking across the street) -- pretty spooky, huh??

I asked the kids to turn on the Weather Channel and, bless their hearts they're so smart, they both read "tornado warning" across the bottom of the television screen. My daughter started freaking out. My son was mumbling something about hillbillies. Someone said something about dying. There was also concern about the fact that we have no basement so where would we even hide. I got the flashlight just in case. The hubs was in the shower and totally oblivious to what the children believed was our impending doom. The meteorologists started talking about a bow echo on the television. My daughter wanted to know what it was...I explained to her that I didn't pay that much attention in my Weather & Climate class in college and this was the perfect example as to why she needed to study hard. I called a friend who lives in the area where the thunderstorm had just passed through...it went just as fast as it came, she assured me. I finished fixing dinner in between claps of thunder and bright flashes of lightning.

The rain came. It quickly left. Dark clouds swirled and dissipated without incident. The really odd thing was that it was NOT windy outside AT ALL. It was kind of eerie and unsettling. The Weather Channel said something about a funnel cloud being spotted in Chesapeake (which really isn't that far from where we live). The hubs, who was out of the shower by now, thought it was quite amusing that I was even worried. I mean, come on, I'm a mother...it's my job to worry.

I suppose we got lucky, for now, considering what this particular band of storms did throughout Alabama and Georgia yesterday & today. My living room, however, wasn't spared. There were pillows everywhere. The flashlight was on and "standing guard." The kids had all of the necessities for a severe storm - Nintendo DS's, their blankets, the television remote and a Power Ranger. What happened to canned food and bottled water?!

Thank goodness a sense of normalcy returned to our household once the tornado warning was lifted.