GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY INNER REDNECK

Whatever you do this weekend, please say a little prayer to the rain gods and ask them to hold off on the forecasted deluge in central Virginia, OK? The hubs & I are headed to Richmond to partake in the Crown Royal 400 at Richmond International Raceway on Saturday. This will be my 3rd time to RIR and my 4th NASCAR race. I'm hooked.

But, seriously, I think I'm in it more for the tailgating. There's a big crowd of people going - at last count there are nearly 30 of us going. It's going to be a long, but fun, day and I cannot wait! We've already got our kalbi marinating and tomorrow evening we'll pack up the truck and head to my parents house for the night (I mean, someone has gotta watch the kids, right?).

If all goes well with the weather, the boys of NASCAR will be racing under the lights in Richmond and I'll be screaming my butt off for this man:

Gawd, I heart Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and - by golly - Dale, Jr. loves...*sigh*...racing in Richmond. Let's hope he takes the checkered flag this year and that little putz Kyle Busch doesn't spin him into the wall during the last few laps like he did at last May's race because it isn't fun being caught in a rain shower of beer cans y'all.

THE PAPER SHREDDER'S SMOKIN'!

At least it's going to be when I get finished using it...I have a shoebox of about 304593067 gazillion receipts, credit cards, ID cards, insurance cards and other ridiculous crap that I need to shred. Some of the items date back to the year 2000. Can you believe that? That was NINE freakin' years ago. Yes, I suppose I need to break up with my pack rat ways, huh? Of course, it would also help, too, if I would just empty out my purses every time I switch them out. All of the crap I accumulated came out of just my purses & wallets alone. Ridiculous, I tell ya...simply ridiculous.

GOT SWINE?

I stayed home from work today due to some really annoying gastro-intestinal issues. OK, so I ate something yesterday for lunch that didn't set well with me. At all. I'm actually starting to feel better and I'm not frequenting the bathroom as much (thank God!).

How funny is it, though, that both my mother & father-in-law asked if I had the swine flu?! Um, no. Not a chance. At least I hope not.

CH-CH-CHANGES!

So, after much hemming & hawing (it's a Southern thang), I've decided to take the plunge and get a blog makeover.


Over the next few days my blog will be gettin' overhauled, pimped out, face lifted...whatever. It's getting made over and, hopefully, you won't have any issues with viewing & commenting in the meantime.

I can't wait to see the finished product and I hope you will enjoy it!!

This is so exciting!

CRAZY EIGHTS

I had originally seen this posted over at Confessions of a Moody Mommy and thought to myself, "How fun...I wonder if someone will tag me?" Well, guess what...I was! Steph, she's the furious mom behind The Furious Five, tagged me! Woo hoo!!

The rules for Crazy Eights is pretty darned simple:

• Mention the person that tagged you.
• Complete the lists of 8's.
• Tag 8 blogger friends, go tell them you tagged them...

So, let's have some fun...shall we?

8 Things I am looking forward to:

1. The race at RIR this weekend - there are around 30 of us going so we're going to have one heck of a tailgate session. I just hope the rain holds off.
2. My genetic counseling session next week - seems kind of odd that I would be looking forward to something like that, but it's best to have some answers and some guidance about your health, right?
3. The spring wine tasting on the 16th - I had so much fun last year!
4. Memorial Day weekend - as usual, we will be on the beach in Hatteras, NC (of course, this is all pending on beach restrictions due to the birds......blah....)
5. Summer - I love hot, lazy summer days!
6. A new hot water heater - ours is on it's last leg...the only question now is whether or not we should go with another tank or go tankless??
7. Veggies from the garden - we've got a pretty good mix of herbs & veggies planted this year...hopefully, we'll have a bountiful harvest!
8. Done with debt - I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...we just need to make it through the rest of this year!

8 Things I did yesterday:

1. Went to Panera Bread for an Asiago cheese bagel with sun-dried tomato cream cheese.
2. Worked.
3. Ran a couple errands for work.
4. Scarfed down a now questionable salad for lunch.
5. Became very friendly with the bathroom thanks to the questionable salad mentioned above.
6. Took a bath.
7. Laid down as soon as I got home because I was feeling MISERABLE!
8. Kissed my kids.

8 Things I wish I could do:

1. Travel the world.
2. Not worry about money.
3. Buy a new car - I still really want a cherry red VW convertible.
4. Book a vacay to Playa del Carmen, Mexico right now...swine flu be damned!
5. Get rid of this ridiculously awful cramping/pain in my gut - seriously, was the seafood salad really that bad or did I eat some tainted spinach yesterday?!
6. Clean up the house in the blink of an eye...or the wiggle of my nose...does anyone have a spare (working) magic wand?
7. Grow another inch or two - being 5' tall is alright, I guess, but I just wanna be OVER 5' tall (without heels on) for once.
8. Not worry so much about what others think.

8 Shows I watch:

1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Survivor
3. The Amazing Race
4. Good Eats
5. 18 Kids and Counting
6. No Reservations
7. Bizarre Foods
8. Diners, Drive-ins & Dives
   (food-related TV shows consume a lot of my time, don't you think??)

8 Favorite fruits:

1. Cherries - bing, rainier...it doesn't matter!
2. Strawberries
3. Blueberries
4. Raspberries
5. Mangoes
6. Papaya
7. Bananas
8. Cantaloupe (preferably with prosciutto wrapped around it...does it still count as a fruit then?)

8 Places I would like to travel:

1. Italy
2. Spain
3. China
4. Hong Kong (I went once when I was five and haven't been back since)
5. Hawaii (I haven't been there since I moved from there in 1986)
6. Costa Rica (the hubs has been a few times, but I have not)
7. Mexico (we vacation in Playa del Carmen once a year, but I'd like to see other parts of the country)
8. Scotland

8 Places I have lived:

1. Honolulu, Hawaii
2. Long Beach, California
3. Water Valley, Mississippi (spent the summer with my Mamaw, so this counts, right?)
4. Virginia Beach, Virginia
5. Fredericksburg, Virginia
6. Virginia
7. Virginia
8. Virginia
   (Can you tell that I haven't moved around very often??)

8 People I'm Tagging:

1. Catrina at The Delima Dilemma
2. Becca at One Day at a Time
3. Lolli at Life is Sweet
4. Melanie at Valeroni
5. Rachel at Romancing Rachel
6. Lis at A Trucker Wife
7. Shannon at Sassy Secrets of a True Blue Desperate Housewife
8. Crissy at Mathers, Party of 4

Wordless Wednesday - SPRING HAS SPRUNG!

I took this picture while we were visiting the invertebrate house at the

National Zoo in Washington, DC during Spring Break.

For even more Wordless Wednesday photos, check out 5 Minutes for Mom or Wordless Wednesday! Enjoy!

WANNA SWAP?

So, this afternoon I was reading my friend, Becca's, blog and she posted that there was a swap going on at Welcome to the Nuthouse. Perfect, I thought. I love getting packages and fun things in the mail (beats the hell out of bills). I'm already participating in a Mom's Day swap over at Confessions of a Moody Mommy, so why not take part in another one, right?

Anyway, the swap over at Shannon's blog, Welcome to the Nuthouse, is pretty simple (copied & pasted from her blog):

If you are interested in participating, comment here to let me know. Then, to verify your commitment to the swap, send an email to nuthouseshannon{at}gmail{dot}com with the following info:

• your name
• your mailing address
• your blog name and blog address
• an area of the country that you've never been to but would like to visit

Basically, what will happen is that you'll get someone from the area you'd like to visit and the person you get (who isn't necessarily the person who has you for the swap) will want to visit your area. There is a $30 spending limit and you are sending your swap partner goods that you feel best represent your little slice of heaven (a.k.a. where you live). Easy enough, right?

Oh, and she keeps track of who referred who so if you choose to participate, please tell her that I sent you...by way of my friend, Becca, of course. It's like a tag team effort!

So, what are you waiting for...go to Welcome to the Nuthouse and support Shannon and her first swap. You'll also enjoy reading her blog, as I have been, because I must confess -- today was my first visit ever to her blog and I owe it all to my friend, Becca.

Happy swapping!

CAN YOU HEAR THAT?

No, you can't? Well, of course you can't...it's called silence! Sweet, wonderful, amazing silence!

The kids went to bed a couple hours ago. The hubs is, much to my dismay, passed out on the couch, but even he, too, is quiet. Well, I hope I just didn't jinx myself because he snores louder than a hibernating grizzly bear. (Just a side note, he had a "hard" day at work today...playing golf, drinking beer, eating tilapia for dinner...*cough*that's bullshit*cough*) Who knows where the cats are...hopefully they are sleeping, too, and not plotting against me (as usual) and coordinating a group effort to bring an even bigger animal into the house than last time.

I love it when the house is quiet. Aside from the gentle hum of the dishwasher and the tapping of keys on the keyboard, the house is asleep. Peaceful. Quiet. In a deep slumber. I suppose that is what I should be doing, too. You know, enjoying the fact that everyone is already in bed...that my gloriously comfy bed is wide open and will be mine all night (because, yes, I am that wife who will leave her snoring husband on the couch)...that's my cue for some shut-eye, too, right? Nah. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to use this time to fold laundry or tidy up the living room. No sir. Instead, I think I'll fix me a big ole bowl of Edy's Rocky Road, watch some TV and maybe then I'll call it a night.

THE GREAT THING HAS ARRIVED!

Remember when I said that great things were coming? Well, it's here.

MY VERY FIRST GIVEAWAY!

Entering to win an EASY-BAKE OVEN is easy - just click on the button in my left-hand sidebar or click here.

GIVEAWAY: Win an Easy-Bake Oven!

This is so exciting...my very first GIVEAWAY!!!

"Since 1963, Hasbro's EASY-BAKE Oven has been cooking up culinary inspiration in hearts and homes across America. The beloved EASY-BAKE Oven & Snack Center is back in its original aqua color! The classic side-loading oven that bakes with a light bulb returns to let bakers-in-the-making whip up tasty snacks for friends and family, including cakes, brownies, cookies, and much more."

Do you have a young culinary whiz in the making? Does your child enjoy helping in the kitchen? Do you have fond memories of owning your own Easy-Bake Oven? If you answered, yes to one (or all) of these questions, then this giveaway is for you!

In honor of Easy-Bake Oven's 2009 "Baker of the Year" contest, I have an Easy-Bake Oven for you to win just in time for the May 7th bake-off. Over the last year, Hasbro has been looking for the best of the best when it comes to culinary creations made with the Easy-Bake Oven. On May 7th, seven talented bakers (ranging in age from 8 to 12) will compete at Walt Disney World Resort in Lake Buena Vista, Florida for the coveted "2009 Baker of the Year" title. Each young baker created their own original recipes using Easy-Bake mixes and the Easy-Bake Oven!

The seven finalists and their creations are as follows:

• Strawberry PB and J Cake made by Drew (age 9) from West Virginia
• EASY Pineapple Upside Down Cake made by Elizabeth (age 12) from West Virginia - this is Drew's sister!
• S'mores Snacks/Chocolaty Peanut Butter made by MaCall (age 10) from Washington
• Queen of Hearts Strawberry Tart made by Catherine (age 12) from Ohio
• Chocolate Peanutbutter Blitz made by Morgan (age 8) from Connecticut
• Pumpkin Surprise made by Taylor (age 11) from New Jersey
• Chocolate Raspberry Cake made by Hannah (age 11) from Pennsylvania

While these seven kids have worked hard all year to get to the finals, it will be easy for you to enter this giveaway! I am also including an Easy-Bake Oven related surprise for the winner!

The many ways you can enter (please read carefully!):

• Comment this post (you MUST do this to even be considered for the giveaway)
• Follow my blog
• Follow me on Twitter (direct message me so I know who you are!)
• Tweet about this giveaway on Twitter (comment me the link, please)
• Write about this giveaway on your blog (comment me the link, please)

The fine print:

• Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Sunday, May 10th.
• One winner will be chosen.
• Contest is open to U.S. residents only
• A random number generator will be used to select the winner.
• Winner will be contacted via email (so be sure to leave a valid one!) and has 48 hours to claim the prize. After 48 hours, if the winner has not contacted me, I will choose another winner.

A winner will be announced on Monday, May 11th on my blog (as well as via email)!

The oven comes with three different mixes, two baking pans, two utensils, a pan pusher, two warming cups and recipes/instructions. One 100-watt standard light bulb is required but not included.

And just WHY am I not outside?!

Spring has finally sprung here in Southeastern Virginia and here I am inside the house with my face glued to the computer. Sad, isn't it?

I mean, the house is clean (aside from a bathroom to clean, laundry to wash, fold & put away and some light dusting in the bedrooms). The kids are out on the boat with the hubs. The cats are all snoozing (and no one has left me any nasty presents...thank goodness). I'm showered, dressed and I'm even sporting freshly exfoliated & shaved legs (gasp!).

But what am I doing? I'm sitting here like a lazy bum. It's actually kind of nice. The house is quiet. The windows are open and I can hear the birds...there's a breeze blowing.

Part of me wants to head to my FIL's to hang out by the pool while I wait for the hubs & the kids to get home from fishing (since that is where the boat gets parked...it's his boat anyways). Part of me wants to go to Target and wander around. Part of me just wants to stay parked on my butt in front of the computer. And, part of me just wants to take a nap.

*sigh*

I suppose I should get up and go to Target and then head to my FIL's house. I mean, it's very rare that I get an opportunity to head to a store alone...no whining, no begging for toys, no rush...the computer time and nap can wait, right?

SMALL TALK SIX - What YOU Do That Makes ME Uncomfy...

So, I've ventured over to Momdot this morning and I've decided to participate in their Saturday meme which is called "Small Talk Six." Blogging tends to simmer down on the weekends (I know it does with me personally) so what a better way to keep things going each weekend than to talk about six little things...the topic changes weekly, so checkout Momdot or just keep checking back on my blog...

The small talk theme for today, April 25th, is this...

6 things other people do that make you personally uncomfortable

And, my six are as follows:

1. Invasion of my personal space - ESPECIALLY if you are a complete stranger - I mean, when I'm at the grocery store or in line at the post office, please back the eff up off of me. If I'm in line or if I'm paying for something you do NOT need to be anywhere within at least two feet of me. Thank you.
2. Seeing other peoples underwear - it's called underwear for a reason, people, because you wear it under your clothes. That being said, it really makes my skin crawl when I can see other peoples underwear. You know, guys who wear their jeans so low that you can see basically their whole butt hanging out of their pants or gals who bend over or sit down and have massive amounts of thong/g-string/granny panties showing. Ew, ew, ew.
3. Thinking your you-know-what doesn't stink - is this one really worth an explanation? You know who you are and, I am sorry to tell ya, but it really DOES stink.
4. Mouth noise of any kind - whether it be snoring, chewing gum, smacking your lips, chewing with your mouth open, slurping - yuck, yuck, yuck. Please don't do it around me. Thank you.
5. Letting your kids run amuck in public - control them, discipline them, hold their hand, talk to them...do something! I don't let my kids act like banshees in public, so please don't let yours act that way. Besides, being run over by a runaway stroller that is being "driven" by a child who is too short to see over or even around the stroller isn't fun (true story).
6. PDA - OK, so back in the day when hubs & I were dating we used to make out at the movies, but we were young and we also sat in the back row. These days some people take PDA to an even more extreme level...get a freakin' room! Less is more, people...less is more.

Whew...that was hard! So, what are your six for this week? Be sure to head over to Momdot to read what other mom bloggers are saying that people do to make them uncomfortable!

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?!

So, over the weekend, I had our carpets cleaned, I opened the windows to let some pollen-saturated fresh air in the house and I cleaned like a mad woman. The house looked & smelled fantastic.

Then, the kids came home.

But, it wasn't until just yesterday that I noticed there was a slightly foul odor in our computer room. My first thought was, "Oh, man, do my feet really smell THAT bad?" I mean, I had been wearing my gray ballet flats from The Gap all week and, if you're like me, suede does a number on your feet. Phew. No, it couldn't have been my feet, but I did make a mental note to pick up some Odor Eaters for my shoes (ha ha ha). My second thought was, "Hmm...did the kids eat something in here and leave it laying around?" No, they couldn't have...they've only been home since Saturday afternoon and they are forbidden from eating within a 10 foot vicinity of the computer desk. My third thought was, "Oh, boy, what did the cats kill now and is it under the computer desk?"

I looked last night...like a moron...without a flashlight. So naturally I didn't see anything in the dark abyss that is below my computer desk. All I saw was the orange-red crayon that had been under the desk in the same spot for about a year (yes, I'm lazy sometimes). Well, this morning I was sitting at the desk checking my email, doing some early morning blog reading and begging my son to change his shirt when I smelled that sour, not so fresh smell AGAIN. I knew it wasn't me...it couldn't have been. My tootsies were freshly washed and I told myself that I was NOT wearing my beloved gray flats today. Both kids denied any flatulence and, hmm, how funny is it that I haven't seen any of our cats this morning. Could they be guilty? Yep. Problem is, I don't know how long ago the incident happened, but judging from the smell it must have been a while ago:

A shovel wouldn't fit under the computer desk so I put on my yellow rubber gloves and used a small Priority Mail box (thank you, USPS!) and slid the poor little wabbit out. Thank goodness he or she was still whole and an extra special thank goodness that my kids were already on the bus and en route to school!

I'm happy to report that the foul smell is no longer lingering and now my computer desk is giving off the familiar scent of fresh linen scented Lysol. Sort of.

Don't forget!

Remember, I am participating in the MOAB contest sponsored by Momlogic and Mom Bloggers Club....see that button to the right? Yeah, that's the contest.

I am one of 32 moms who are all hoping to be given the "Mother of All Bloggers" title.

To read all about MY mom logic (my entry for the contest), click here.

On April 30th, the 10 finalists will be announced and that is when you can start showing YOUR support by voting for me! The grand prize winner will be announced on May 7th during Momlogic's Moms Nite Out event.

CHECKING ON THE GIRLS?

I'm going to see my oncologist tomorrow.

I haven't seen him in a couple years...I haven't had to. But, I'm going to visit him tomorrow to talk. To talk to him about what my options are and what he feels is best for me to do as an almost 32 year old woman who hails from a family with a history of breast cancer. My mom's sister died from it. My mom fought the battle with it just over two years ago. She lost a breast, but she won. I'm already playing with fire because I have a higher risk of developing cervical cancer than most women. Two surgeries by two (gynecological) oncologists in the last eight years might not seem like much to most, but seeing as how cancer - and not just breast cancer - has taken so many from my family, well, I feel like I need to do something.

For me personally, doing a monthly breast exam just doesn't seem reassuring enough. I don't know if genetic testing is in my future. My mother, oddly enough, doesn't think that I should do it and really doesn't think that it will be offered to me (her genetic testing was done AFTER her diagnosis of breast cancer and, wouldn't you know it, her test came back inconclusive). I've always said that you'll never know a thing if you don't ever ask...so that is what I'm going to do tomorrow. Ask. Ask questions. Ask many questions. I don't necessarily like the idea of having a way to find out my fate, but in a situation like this I'd rather not be blind-sided by my own body.


Update since the appointment:
I meet with a genetic counselor next month. My parents will be attending the appointment with me. Hopefully, we'll know more about what my options are once we meet with the counselor.

YOU'RE LUCKY IT DIDN'T LEAVE A MARK!

To the lady who hit my car with her car door in the parking lot of Farm Fresh this afternoon...

I realize that it was late in the afternoon and that you, too, were probably doing the "crap, what am I going to fix for dinner" shuffle. Judging by the hasty way you parked your Honda Accord, you were clearly in a hurry. I mean, parking diagonally in a space that is maybe 5 feet wide when there were cars parked on either side is pretty damn sad if you ask me. At any rate, you managed to park your vehicle without issue; however, when you came around to the passenger side to take your toddler son out of the car did you not hear the "THUNK" as your car door hit my car? I know I did...I was sitting in the damn car! Sure, I may have been on the phone with my husband, but even HE knew what happened because a ridiculous variety of expletives came out of my mouth the minute your car hit mine.

You had to have seen me in the car because I saw you plain as day with your bleached blonde hair and black track suit. Hell, I even got out of my car and walked into the grocery store at the same time you did and still no apology or acknowledgement that you hit my car. Sure, it didn't leave a dent. Yeah, the scuff mark can be buffed off. Maybe you think that my car is a piece of crap anyway because it's got 94374539476 pollen spores on it and it squeaks when I start it up (I mean, it's 9 years old!) so what is another ding...but the point is, you hit my damn car!

I know, I know...you were in a hurry, you had your kid with you...blah...blah...blah. I hit a parked car once. Actually, it was my son who hit the car. He opened his door after I told him not to and it hit the car I was parked next to. Even though I immediately apologized to that lady (who happened to be in her car as well) and my son apologized to her (mind you, he was only 3 years old at the time) she still proceeded to bless me out in the parking lot and even made my son cry. I wouldn't have done that, but a simple, "Hey, I'm so sorry, I bumped into your car door, " would have been nice. I know what it's like to be in a rush and have things go all crazy-chaotic with the kids. I know. I live that life daily. But, set an example for your kid and own up to your mistakes, will ya?

Next time you park all crazy in a parking space and hit the car next to you, just say you're sorry if the owner of the car you hit happens to be right there, OK?

Happy parking,
Michelle

P.S. Yes, I'm exceptionally bitchy today.

THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THAN...

...going to the bathroom and falling into the toilet because your dear, sweet hubby left the seat up only to find out that there's no freakin' toilet paper left on the roll.

Seriously?!

My Mom Logic

Dictionary.com defines logic as “a particular method of reasoning or argumentation”…

There are times when I feel that there seems to be NO logic at all to my parenting style; however, I am reminded - time & time again - that when it comes to MY mom logic, well, I must be doing something right. Sure, there are a gazillion and one books out there on how to raise your child, what to feed them, what they should do, what you should do...blah, blah, blah...but when it comes down to it, YOU are your own expert – no matter how experienced or inexperienced you are.

I once read that simply having a child doesn’t make you a mother…and I truly believe that it doesn’t. If you ask me, common sense would tell you that. Growing up, I didn't have a nurturing bone in my body. I was terrified of newborns. My daughter was the first newborn I ever held. I remember that first night in the hospital after giving birth to my daughter...I cried and cried and cried. What was I supposed to do? There I was with this precious newborn and now I was considered a mother, but did I feel like one? No. All of my insecurities and doubts about my capabilities as a mother flooded my mind. I was a nervous wreck, but I pushed aside those fears and met the challenges of motherhood head on. Now, here I am, a little more than eight years later, the mother of two wonderful children who certainly have not suffered any ill side-effects due to my apprehensions and lack of confidence just years prior.

I think a lot of my success (thus far) as a mother can be attributed to my twisted sense of logic...my mom logic. It's all about the reasoning...your method of using it and why you're using it. When I was a freshman in college, I took a mathematics course that was heavily based in logic (shows how much I paid attention because I can't even remember the name of the course). Three times a week I sat in that 50 minute long class and listened to my Russian professor drone on and on about truths and fallacies...logic, logic, logic. I did not have a clue back then, but I do now. Motherhood is all about truths & fallacies...the logical and the illogical....reasoning & arguing. The bottom line is -- my mom logic is all about knowing how to pick & choose my battles.

Contrary to popular belief, knowing how to pick & choose your battles with a child is not something that comes easily. As an adult, you are used to having things one particular way -- how you want them, why you want them, when you want them -- especially when you are a bossy, semi-control freak like me (I can't help it...I have anal retentive tendencies thanks to my Virgo status!). When you throw a child into the mix, all sense of order and rational thought goes out the window (sometimes). It's really HARD to relinquish whatever sense of control you once had over a situation. As the mother of two children, I've learned quickly, MOSTLY through trial & error, that it is KEY to know when to stand your ground and when to give in. And, for the record, I'd just like to state that I'm not one to dismiss bribing as a way to coerce my children into submission (admit it...neither are you!).

So, this form of logic - that "particular method of reasoning or argumentation" - is most certainly MY mom logic. I rely upon my savvy persuasion skills and my love for discussion (I should have been a lawyer) to get me through. My mom logic is a jumbled mix of reverse psychology, tough (yet unconditional) love and Bill Cosby meets Judge Judy. My mom logic teeters on the verge of fantasy -- did I really think that the laundry was going to fold itself and the house will just instantly appear clean -- but can snap back into reality at a moments notice (yep, the laundry's still not washed and there is a layer of dust on everything). My mom logic fails from time to time - especially when Daddy (a.k.a. The Pushover) gives in - but continues to reign supreme when it comes to what matters most (everything else...ha!). My mom logic might show a hardened exterior, but there is a big softy hidden inside. Most importantly, my mom logic has taught me that I have become the mother that I was meant to be for my children...I didn't know this eight years ago...but I've evolved, I've grown...I am a mother.

So this is what I feel that my mom logic is. Hopefully, some others will agree with me and maybe, just maybe, I'll be chosen as one of the 10 finalists for the Mother of All Bloggers contest sponsored by Momlogic and Mom Bloggers Club. Stay tuned to see if I've been chosen and, if so, get ready to VOTE, VOTE, VOTE for me!

HOW DID I GET OUT?

While driving to pick up Malia this afternoon, Aidan struck up a conversation in the car:

A: "Mommy, uh, when I was a baby in your belly and it was time for me to get out of your belly did they cut your tummy open to let me out?"

Me: "No...wait...why are you asking me this? Did someone talk about babies today?"

A: "I'm just asking. I want to know."

Me: "Oh...."

A: "Well, did they cut your belly to take me out?"

Me: "No, buddy, they didn't."

A: "Well, then how did I get out?!"

.......there was a long (and I mean long) and awkward pause.......and it wasn't just because I was sitting at a red light trying to make a right turn..........

Seriously, I am NOT ready to have this conversation. Not on a Monday. Not while I'm driving. And, not with my six year old son. I admire his curiosity and how clever he can be. But, I just can't have this conversation right now. I bought myself some time because I told him that we would have this discussion at home once Adam (a.k.a. Daddy) got home. Aidan seemed a bit disappointed because he wanted "to talk NOW."

Thank goodness he hasn't remembered the convo...and that reminds me, I need to tell Adam what was even discussed!

DON'T WASH ME...LOVE ME INSTEAD

I walked outside yesterday afternoon and noticed that my car had been "vandalized" by my children:

You can barely make it out because of the glare, but it says
"I heart mom" across the hood.

So much for the $16 I spent washing my car on Saturday afternoon. I should have known better considering our pine trees (and just about every other plant or flower in our yard) are dropping pollen bombs all over the place. I could look on the bright side...at least my kids didn't write, "Wash me...again" all over the car.

SEEING RED

Why did I get a wild hair up my butt and decide to paint our front door red? Oh, that's right...because I've always wanted a red front door. While the idea seems really spectacular in my mind, the whole process of it has been anything but. I'm currently waiting on the 3rd (uneven) coat to dry. Red paint is a pain in the you-know-where. Don't get me wrong...the color is absolutely gorgeous (Holly Berry by Behr), but the task in itself is frustrating. I mean, even after two coats of primer (the door once was a really deep Hunter Green) the door STILL isn't looking right. I should have known better...I mean, this isn't my first experience with red paint (fortunately, I didn't have the joy of painting that wall red...Adam did, but I got to hear all of the cursing and complaining that resulted because of that red wall...which I've since painted over).

The hubs says not to worry...that after a couple more coats the door will look fine. I suppose I DO need to be more patient and just ease up on my a little too perfect standards and just go with it. I'm sure in the end that the door will look beautiful and will be all that I have envisioned. For now, I'm read to take it off it's hinges and buy a new door from the Home Depot. But, of course, the whole reason for painting the door red was to avoid spending $200 to $600 on a new front door. *le sigh*

Hmmm...maybe I should just take a break from the red and continue painting the trim around the door white. Perhaps a bit of a break will keep me from going insane.

THERE'S NO TURNING BACK...

I just overheard the kids having a very heated discussion about how you cannot turn back into a baby. I don't know if my son is having some anxiety about turning six in June, but I could hear him in the living room telling his sister that he was quite certain that on June 1st (which isn't even his birthday) he would turn back into a baby.

Apparently, on the first of June, my son will reincarnate (or is it reinvent?) himself as a baby...cries, whines and all. (Wait...we still still with that on a regular basis now.) But, not only will he become a baby on June 1st, but he'll also go back into my tummy. Those were his words.

As soon as he said that my daughter piped up and said, very insistently, that he could NOT turn back into a baby and that he certainly could NOT go back into my tummy.

She kept saying, "No, no, no...no, you can't. You can't turn back into a baby. You can't go back in Mommy's tummy. Daddy, tell him that he can't do that. People just can't do that!"

No, son, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but no you cannot turn back into a baby and you sure as hell cannot go back into my tummy. Try as you might, it's just not gonna happen. When I was pregnant with you, you stayed in an extra week and had to be evicted...if it didn't work then, it's not gonna work now. The little happy baby place in my tummy has long been shut down and it's no longer open for business. You'll just have to suck it up and turn six and act like a big boy.

BOSLEY

My mother called me at work the other day...my son just HAD to talk to me:

"Guess what I saw on TV, Mom??"

I don't know...what did you see?

"Uhh...Po Po and I saw this commercial." (I can hear my mom in the background saying, "No, no...YOU saw the commercial...I have nothing to do with this!")

Hmmm...I wonder what they're up to...

"Uhh...oh, yeah...I saw this commercial on Po Po's TV...it was for this fing called Bosley (I swear the way he pronounced it that he said BALLSLY)...I fink that Daddy needs it."

What's it for, Aidan?

"It's to fix his bald spot."

Oh, my.

JUST GOT PAID...IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT

I’m childless (for one last night) and the hubs left for North Carolina to have some tuna fishing fun (this means we could be eating fresh fish tomorrow…yum!). Do I have plans with my girlfriends for a fun night out? Nope. Instead of hitting a couple favorite haunts to drink way too much beer and eat way too many pieces of lumpia, I have other exciting plans instead. My Friday evening will be spent at home folding laundry, vacuuming the carpet, eating leftover fried rice and catching up on my Thursday night shows (God bless the DVR!) sleeping.

GREAT THINGS ARE COMING...

I don't want to give away too much just yet because it's all still in the works, but stay tuned because great things are coming.

This weekend I will be announcing my first giveaway ever. It's gonna be good. Huge. Fabulous. You will want to get your bake on...well, at least your child will. ;-)

FIRST, I'D LIKE TO THANK...

Do you ever remember practicing your Oscar or Grammy acceptance speech in the bathroom mirror? You know, you used your hairbrush as a microphone and you'd act all goofy and giddy like the stars on television. Wait? You mean you still do that?!

Well, I suppose I do, too, because that's totally what I wanted to do when I got home and checked my email to find that my favorite Moody Mommy gave me an award!!! I GOT AN AWARD PEOPLE! AN AWARD THAT'S EVEN BETTER THAN A GOLD STAR OR A PAT ON THE BACK...I got my first EVER blog award! Hip hop hooray!

AKB over at Confessions of a Moody Mommy was gracious enough to bestow upon me the "Let's Be Friends" award and this has totally made my Wednesday. Back in 2007 when I first ventured into the world of blogging I didn't think that I would enjoy it as much as I do. I certainly didn't think anyone would want to read my blog. And, I sure as heck didn't think that I'd be able to reach out and connect with other guys & gals and make all sorts of new friends. But, I really do enjoy blogging, people really are reading my blog and I AM one of many, many pretty faces in the blogosphere!

This award is A-W-E-S-O-M-E...not only because it's my first one and it's from a phenomenal mom and fellow blogger, but because of what it stands for:

"The Let's be Friends Awards stands for this: These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers."

And, so, I am paying it forward to eight of my fellow bloggers whom I enjoy connecting with. These eight bloggers are people who have graciously welcomed me, encouraged me and shared their love of all things blogging with me:
Reston Mom

Perfectly Disheveled

A Trucker Wife

Mathers, Party of 4

Method Lust

A Different View

Momisodes

One Day at a Time

It was hard to choose just eight because everyone I've "met" thus far are all equally as worthy, so please don't be disappointed if I didn't type your name down. There are many, many other blog-related awards to be had. ;-)

WHO DOESN'T LOVE PRESENTS?!

My favorite Moody Mommy (besides myself, of course! LOL) is having a Mother's Day swap. The rules are pretty straightforward...head over to Confessions of a Moody Mommy and add your name to the Mr. Linky list and put the Mom Swap button in your side bar (like I've done). There is a $20-$25 price range and you must mail out your gift by May 1st. Don't worry...you will be told who your Mom is and the rest is up to you!

What a fun way to show appreciation for another mother and what a great idea because it's always nice to receive a small gift in the mail. Bills are NOT the kind of appreciation us mothers are looking for, ya know?!

THE MOTHER OF ALL BLOGGERS

Nominate me...seriously. I'm asking, begging, pleading...PLEASE just nominate me, will ya?? This is a contest with Momlogic and Mom Bloggers Club and the prize is HUGE, but it's the recognition that's even better.

I need 10 nominations by April 19th...just 10...that's all! Here's how to nominate me:

• Go to my page over at Momlogic and leave me a comment on my page that simply says, "I nominate you." (http://community.momlogic.com/profile/Michelle43) -- and, YES, you have to be a member of Momlogic to leave a comment on my profile page. It's free, fun and for anyone to join so don't be scurred!!!

See?! It's that easy! Now, go tell everyone to nominate me. Remember, ten nominations gets the ball rolling and I know there are at least 10 of you who follow me on the regular (*hint, hint*)!

And, before you head over to my page at Momlogic, read this important bit of info first:
If you are a member of Momlogic and you've already nominated someone, then get your sister, mother, aunt, cousin, husband, best friend, etc. to nominate me. And, remember that you MUST nominate me on my page at Momlogic, not here in my comments (although this shouldn't stop you from leaving me a fabu comment anyway...).

Thanks!!!

Hey...your phone's ringing...

Adam's cell phone rang at 6:40 this morning. Yes, it's Monday, but if it were any other Monday it wouldn't matter because any other Monday he would be working. However, when the phone rang this morning we were both still in bed. In bed at my parents house. My parents house that is just a little bit over two & a half hours away from our home...and our jobs. We took today off to spend some time with the kids and take them to Washington, DC for the day. Apparently, we took Adam's job with us.

It isn't easy being married to the boss. Vacations or any time off means never really getting a break from work...it just means that you aren't in the office. And, even though Adam's phone didn't stop ringing until we were sitting in southbound rush hour traffic on Interstate 95 this evening, we still managed to have a good day...phone calls about job-related issues and all. I'm not complaining...I'm just saying that for once it would be nice to not ever have to eat, sleep, breathe or discuss work while on vacation - with the kids or not - ever again. Besides, I'm sure it was really hard for Adam to talk about work-related issues while his son was playing with donkey poo at the children's farm area at the National Zoo. (more about the poop later, though)

Wordless Wednesday - CANNONBALL!

For more Wordless Wednesday photos, head on over to 5 Minutes for Mom or Wordless Wednesday.

Oh, that's easy...

I feel like I'm missing out on all of the good moments -- my son has been staying at my parents house...he's on "vacation." It's spring break and this is my parents way of helping us out while getting to spend time with the grandkids...thanks mom & dad!

A re-hashing of the story told to me by my mother:
Aidan was reading to my mom and she commented on how well he could read (A's in kindergarten). And, he really is a good reader if you really want to know my UNBIASED motherly opinion. :-) Anyways, they kept reading...

After a while, my mother asked Aidan how to spell certain words. My mom's pretty funny sometimes...she said to Aidan, "Can you help Po Po spell? Po Po has a hard time spelling words sometimes because she's Chinese." (I mean, English ISN'T my mother's first language, but I think she's speaks damn good English & a good speller.) Aidan sort of looked at her funny like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

So, my mother said to him, "Can you help me spell 'yes'...Po Po isn't sure how."

"Oh, that's EASY, Po Po....Y-O-U, " Aidan replied.

My mom says, "Aidan, that spells 'you'!"

"Oh...uhhh...what I meant to say is Y-E-S!" She said Aidan blushed and just started giggling.

Sissy's where?!

My son had a pretty interesting conversation with my mother last week. Lately, he's been very curious about when he and his sister were babies and also when I was a baby...basically, he's infatuated with the fact that everyone around him (who is older than him) was his age at one point.

The conversation was initiated by my son who asked my mother where he was when I was a little girl. To be more specific, he asked if he was in my tummy when I was a little girl. Not wanting to get into uncharted territory with a 5 year old, my mom simply replied, "No."

"Well, was sissy in mommy's tummy?"

"No."

"What about daddy's tummy? Was sissy in daddy's tummy then?"

Again, my mother replied, "No."

What was my son's response?

"Well, I think daddy has a sissy in his tummy. He's got a big tummy, you know."

Great, my son thinks he's going to have another sissy, but this time sissy will come from daddy and not mommy. It's time for Adam to start doing sit-ups and switch to light beer! Oh, the mind of a 5 year old...

HOW BIZARRE

Isn't it funny how certain images or scents can thrust your mind back to some memory that you either look back on with fondness or regret anguish? Songs do this, too...at least they do to me. I swear I'm not the only one out there who associates songs with certain feelings or memories, right?

This morning on the way to work OMC's "How Bizarre" came on the radio. I haven't heard the song in a few years. As I was driving down the road I was quickly taken back to my very late teen years circa 1997 (I turned 20 in September of that year). That was a fun time...fun, but frustrating (now that I look back). But, I suppose the definition of fun all depends on who you ask. I could remember the people Adam and I were hanging out with, what we were doing, where we were hanging out...all of those memories came flooding back. Some were good, some were not so good. Regrets? Nah. Things happen for a reason, right? It's just crazy how that one song flooded my mind with a hodge-podge of mixed emotions and a basic flashback-like montage of how right, but so wrong my life was back then. Pretty heavy stuff for a Monday morning commute to work, huh?

OMC's "How Bizarre" is just one of many songs that "take me back." The human mind is a spectacular thing...it's amazing how much we retain and how something as simple as a song can produce such strong emotions and memories....

So, what's a song that triggers a memory in your mind? (You don't have to share the specific memory...like it says in OMC's "How Bizarre" -- 'Wanna know the rest? Hey, buy the rights...')

MY FIRST PRODUCT REVIEW - Littlest Pet Shop Collectible Pets & Nerf Peyton Manning Vortex Mega Howler

So a few weeks back a request went out on Twitter asking if anyone was interested in doing a product review for some Easter basket gift ideas and I said, "SURE! I'm interested!" I got in touch with a woman named Catherine and the rest, as they say, is history -- here I am diving head first into the land of product reviews and this first review of mine was F-U-N!

Because I have two children - one boy and one girl - who are a couple years apart, I was asked to review two products. Well, maybe it wasn't ME who did the actual review, but let's just say that fun was had by all and we really enjoyed this opportunity that was given to us...thank you, Catherine!

We were asked to review two products from Hasbro - the Nerf Peyton Manning Vortex Mega Howler & the Littlest Pet Shop Collectible Pets. Both products make great Easter basket gifts and are both budget friendly. Here is some info on both items:

• Nerf Peyton Manning Vortex Mega Howler - appropriate for ages 5 and up and retails for approximately $9.99 - "The ultimate football to get your team to the end zone! For higher flying & farther throwing, a three-fin tail provides long distance aerodynamics and finger grips help you get a handle on your game. As you watch your pass sail through the air, the cool whistling sound will let everyone know your team is on its way to a touchdown."


• Littlest Pet Shop Collectible Pets (assortment) - appropriate for ages 4 and up and retails for approximately $4.99 - "Girls will be able to add to their Littlest Pet Shop family with the special edition Littlest Pet Shop Collectible Pets assortment. Adorable new pets include an angel fish, lion, flamingo and sea horse. Keep an eye out as the Littlest Pet Shop Collectible Pets assortment will release exclusive, special edition pets throughout the year (i.e., in the fall, the pet assortment will include a bat, penguin, inchworm and crocodile)."

Our son, who is 5 years old, had a BLAST with the "howler football" as he called it. It look him a bit to get the hang of throwing it, but pretty soon he was yelling, "Go deep!" to his father as he threw the ball. Father & son tossed the ball back and forth for a while and, at one point, I even caught my husband tossing the ball in the air and launching the ball across the yard to get the full whistle effect. Was he reliving his childhood? I think so...he said this Nerf ball was "way cooler" than the one he had as a little boy. Our daughter even joined in for some football tossing and she enjoyed how easy it was to grip and throw the ball. After a game of toss, my son decided to try throwing the ball other ways - mostly using the tail. The outcome wasn't so great, but he still had fun nonetheless! Overall, he gave the Nerf Peyton Manning Vortex Mega Howler rave reviews - he said it wasn't as cool as his Redskins football, but the "cool whistling noise" was neat and so cool!

As a budget-conscious mother, I think the toy is fun, functional and friendly for the budget. This is the perfect gift to put in an Easter basket and it's a great alternative to stuffed animals or more candy. I liked the bright colors of the football and how it's smaller size made it easy for my son to use the ball. And, in true Nerf fashion, the football was soft and I wasn't nervous about anyone getting hurt if they were pegged in the arm or leg while trying to catch the ball.

My daughter, who recently turned 8 years old, had the pleasure of checking out the Littlest Pet Shop Collectible Pets and she squealed with delight when she saw the package. The two "pets" she received were from the "Sportiest" collection - a duck and a dog (they had little bobble heads!). The duck had on a scuba mask with a snorkel and the dog had purple flippers. If your daughter is anything like mine, then you already know about how cute these figurines are and how QUICKLY you can build your Littlest Pet Shop collection! Once the package was opened she immediately took the figurines outside to show her friends who all "ooohed" and "aaahed."

My daughter LOVES Littlest Pet Shop (LPS) toys - whether she plays with them alone or makes them one of her Barbie's pets - I can go into her room at any given moment and find an LPS toy.

So, what exactly did my daughter think? She loved how cute the pets were and how each set is unique. Their size makes them easy to carry around (both of these guys went into her pockets for safe keeping!). She also likes how colorful they are and their versatility (play with them on their own, with LPS accessories or use them as pets for Barbie's or Bratz dolls). As her mom, what did I think? You can't beat the price - two LPS figurines for about $5 is a great price. This is definitely a perfect Easter basket gift that will appeal to any young girl. The toy is not so small that you will worry about losing pieces or parts and it's big enough that you'll see it before you step on it! ;-)

Overall, I would say that our first product review was a success! As my son told me, "I'm so proud you got these product reviews, Mom."

JUST CALL ME ELIZABETH ARDEN

The paint for our front door was purchased last night - HOLLY BERRY by Behr. That's right, I'm painting my front door red. It's a lovely shade of red, too...of course, we chose it out of an exterior paint finish book by Behr while we were at the Home Depot. Go figure. One teeny little paint swatch determined the fate for our front door. I mean, I wanted a red door and Adam agreed it would look nice. While I had six other colors picked out, Holly Berry was it.

So, this weekend, I'll be painting our front door red...stay tuned for pictures!

April Fool's, right?

I called my mortgage company on Wednesday afternoon to ask a question.

The guy I spoke to told me that we were delinquent. Do-whaaa?

What do you mean, delinquent?

He responds to me, "Ma'am, you're behind for the month of April. I'm not showing a payment yet."

Are you effin' serious crazy in your skull?? I mean, seriously serious? (Yes, I say seriously a LOT.) I literally wanted to jump through the phone, grab him by his shoulders and shake him. I mean, to me, behind for the month April means that the month has come and gone and a payment still hasn't been made...NOT if your current month's payment isn't made by the 1st of that particular month.

So, ladies and gentlemen, yes, according to GMAC Mortgage we are delinquent on our mortgage for the month of April. A mortgage payment that has been due for one freakin' day! ONE! I guess that 15-day grace period doesn't mean jack shit to GMAC Mortgage...I know I'm not the only homeowner who uses a few days of the grace period, right? I mean, it's only Thursday...the 1st of the month was YESTERDAY!

All I can do is laugh...and quote Jay-Z again.

SQUEEZE!

Last night after dinner, Adam and Malia watched Taboo on the National Geographic Channel. The episode, Bizarre Bodies, was all about people who do different things to or with their bodies - some where pretty grotesque in my book like tattooing the white of your eyeball (WTF?) or surgically attaching things like horns (why??). What caught our interest was a 71 year old woman named Cathie who has the world's smallest waist. It measures 15".

Yes, FIFTEEN INCHES.

That made me bust out the measuring tape.

My thigh is 20 inches...my freaking thigh is 5 inches bigger than this woman's waist.

My head is 22.5 inches....my HEAD is bigger than her waist! Ridiculous!

My 8 year old daughter's thigh is 13 inches (the same as Adam's bicep)...just 2 inches smaller than this woman's waist.

My 8 year old daughter's waist is 22 inches (we won't even go there with mine...I'll just say that it's double that lady, Cathie's, waist size and then some)...I just can't fathom a 15 inch waist!

15 inches...seriously? Yes, she wears a corset all.the.time. She even works out in it! I don't even like wearing control top pantyhose because it's too constricting. Hell, I only break out the Spanx on special occasions because it's so, um, snug. Wow...15 inches on purpose. That's just too much will-power for me.

A funny thing happened in the flower bed last night...

We have three cats.

They are indoor/outdoor cats.

We have one litter box.

It hasn't been cleaned out in months because none of the cats use it. Apparently, our flower beds (and the horseshoe pits...ha ha ha) are much more desirable areas for cat elimination of any kind. Unless, of course, it's a hairball that needs hacking up and then it's either the comforter on my bed or the hallway that becomes the targeted spot...gross.

Yesterday evening Adam was in the backyard redoing a few of the pavers and our female cat, Betsy, was with him. She was trotting through the freshly mulched flower bed and I was watching her. She stopped, dug around for a bit and squatted. No, no...that spot wasn't right. She moved to a different spot in the flower bed and dug another small hole. No, no...still not right. This time, she goes to the FAR end of the flower bed...farthest away from us...and digs yet another hole. I guess it wasn't very nice of us to be watching her, let alone laughing at her, and she felt she needed some privacy.

WRONG.

I guess third time isn't a charm after all because next thing we know she trots back over to where we are, digs up a FOURTH spot in the flower bed and proceeds to tighten up her back legs and get a look on her kitty face that meant business.

That fourth hole was the only one she covered. Thanks for the, uh, fertilizer, Betsy.


Afterword:
Don't ask me why I'm talking about my cat's poop. After you have kids, anything goes...even discussions about poop...no matter who's doing the pooping.

GET THEE TO THE POTTY!

I still wake my daughter up to tinkle in the middle of the night...no, not the middle of the night, but a few hours after she goes to bed which is usually right before I go to bed which really IS sometimes in the middle of the night...oh, dear...(I swear my daughter isn't up nearly as late as I am - 8:30pm sharp is bedtime for the kidlets in this household!)...

Anyways, it's not always easy waking up a child from a deep, sweet slumber. When I first try to wake M up, my gaze is usually met by her blank stare. If she does wake up easily, then the whole "get outta bed, go pee, wash hands and give another kiss good night" routine is a breeze. But, easy isn't always the case...

One night she took off her PJ bottoms in bed and sat there.

One night she told me that her room was already clean.

One night she looked at me and rolled over.

One night she got out of bed, but sat at her desk.

One night she went to the bathroom, but didn't put the toilet lid up.

One night she told me she was done. (done doing what?)

Tonight, she walked to the television and tried to turn it on.

She's eight. Bed wetting isn't a nightly occurance, but my desire to never buy GoodNites or Underjams again is making me stay in this routine (and it's been about 2 months since I last purchased either product). We have established some ground rules:

• Last call for milk, juice or water comes at an early time in our household if you're 8 years old.
• Peeing in the potty is a mandatory task after brushing your teeth at night.
• And, being woken up by mom (or dad) just a few hours after going to sleep has become the norm.

Will she grow out of this? I hope so. Do I think it's because she's such a deep sleeper? Yes. Have I become concerned enough to consult our pediatrician? Not yet. We have more dry nights than we do wet nights. With this new routine, we've gone nearly a week so far without any bed wetting...5 days is our record...and we celebrate dry nights.

So, moms out there with children older than mine who have "been there, done that"...give me some advice. Do I really need that bed wetting alarm thing? When does bed wetting become a problem? Are we already too far gone? HELP!

Cleansing my soul?

So, that post I wrote earlier, yeah, it wasn't very nice and I'm sure those of you who are new to following me might just be a bit, um, shocked?

I mean, I tried to keep it semi-clean and keep the name calling to a minimum. I'm not normally one for confrontation, but when provoked it can prove to be pretty darn lethal. Those who know me well know that I have - amazingly enough - absolutely zero backbone and I have a tendency to be an overly sensitive person.

I believe that the lack of backbone proves to be a blessing in disguise, sort of, because it (unfortunately?) allows the rage, frustrations and other nonsensical stuff to fester inside of me before I let it all out...if I let it out at all. The overly sensitive part of me proves to be a bit of a positive thing, too, because all of that sensitivity can be used in creative ways especially when it comes to being passionate about someone or something.

With all of that being said, posts like that won't appear on my blog anymore. The last year and a half have been a trying one for me emotionally and mentally. You would think that I was the one who got divorced, but no...I wasn't. I was, however, a victim of the divorce and as time has passed I've learned many upsetting things about a person who was such a big part of my life. It saddens me to know that things were said about me (we're talking BAD things, not good, nice things) and I can't do anything to change what was said...or even done. All I can do is continue to be there not only for myself, but for my family who all love and support me no matter what boneheaded things are being said about me.

If you spent only five minutes in my shoes, then I think you would understand. I've grappled with issues of trust and felt first-hand the pains of being stabbed in the back. All of this after a 10+ year relationship with someone who I once thought was sincere and genuinely liked me for me. Obviously not.

So, the moral of the story is - be nice. That old saying is true, if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all...and I no longer have anything nice to say about THAT person. Therefore, to all of my faithful readers (and to clear my mind) please know that I do apologize for the bold & brash tone of my earlier blog - I just had to get it out of my system - but if you happen to be THAT person, then this apology isn't for you. One of these days I may forgive you, but today isn't one of them.

Wordless Wednesday - FEELING CRABBY

For more Wordless Wednesday pictures, click here or get yourself over to 5 Minutes for Mom.

WARNING: EAR MUFFS & BLINDERS!!

*Disclaimer*
This blog post is going to be very unladylike and petty and, overall, unnecessary in some of your eyes, but I'm going to be rude for just a second. Therefore, if you have sensitive eyes then I suggest you either stop reading, cover your eyes or turn your head for a moment (OH, and if you have children who can read...make sure they're not in the room with you. Please and thank you!):


TO ALL OF YOU HATERS -actually, there's only just one, but, then again, I'm sure her entourage of friends (hmm...wonder if she talks shit about them behind their backs like she did to me and still continues to do) are reading this, too, but I don't hate them - WHO FEEL THAT I DO NOTHING AT WORK BUT BLOG AND SIT ON THE INTERNET...THE JOKE IS ON YOU!

The "post options" feature on Blogger allows me to schedule WHEN my blogs are posted...yes, WHEN as in the date and WHEN as in the time...right down to the minute. Anytime of day...any day of the week. So, if I schedule 10 things to post throughout the day, don't just ASSume that it's me goofing off on the Internet while at work...I mean, seriously, you know what they say about assuming...

Besides, contrary to all the shit talking you did over the years about me, I do work, I can hold down a job - have I ever been fired? NOPE. Do I have an education? Sure do. Can I go to sleep at night with a clean conscience? You betcha! Do I feel the need to put down others just so I can feel better about myself? No way (well, except for now, but this doesn't count). So there you stupid, petty, wanna-be, has been of a whatever you are. I'm sure your friends will get a laugh out of this, but just realize that it's YOU they will be laughing about.

Like Jay-Z said..."can I get a fuck you."

So there. By the way, I'm done with you...so please be done with me, OK? I've told you before to leave me the hell alone. I mean, if the shoe was on the other foot and it was me harassing you I think you would have had me thrown in jail by now. See...I'm way nicer than that.

Oh, and why don't you print this one out, too, for your collection.


Psst...I just edited the post a smidge. I think one eff bomb is enough.